


Gonna get better

by Korra_Sato



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band), camren
Genre: 727 tour, Camren - Freeform, Celebrities, F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-07-19 09:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7354897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Korra_Sato/pseuds/Korra_Sato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 727 tour is ending. Ever since Lauren and Camila's split, Lauren has been counting the days for the tour to be over in hopes that she wouldn't see Camila for the rest of the year. </p><p>  But what happens when things don't go as expected in their last performance for the 727 tour?</p><p>  Lauren does something incredibly unexpected in one song performance that will leave everyone, and literally everyone including Camila, in complete shock. And the world will stop spinning for a second.</p><p>Link to wattpad version: https://www.wattpad.com/story/76911498-gonna-get-better</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The tour is nearing its end, it has been a long year for the five women relaxing in their respective hotels and despite their jet lagged state, they can't help but be ecstatic about the last day of their tour, Lauren especially.

Lauren has been dying to go home since day one of their tour because of so many reasons that include, stress, anxiety, and depression.

It's not that Lauren isn't happy to be with the other girls or not happy to perform for her fans, it's quite the opposite of that. But, Lauren has been experiencing tremendous amounts of stress and depression ever since she and Camila ended in a rough patch a couple months ago.

She knows that she has to act as if nothing happened between them in front of everyone to avoid rumours but she still cannot help that sometimes she shows how stressed she is subconsciously, whether it be in public or in private. This has earned her many worried looks and questions from the other girls, and even from Camila to which she tries to ignore most of the time.

The smaller girl and her haven't been exactly privy or open about their romantic relationship with the three other girls or anybody in particular. The one who knew was just the two of them, or so they had thought.

When the "camren" thing blew up in the internet, it gave Camila and Lauren extreme stress and anxiety. They are not ready to reveal, or come out, to everyone or anyone, so they kept dismissing this notion and continuously called the shippers "delusional" to hopefully dismiss the idea. Obviously that didn't do the trick.

Ever since then, she and Camila agreed and decided to put some space between them whenever they are in public, promising to have time for each other in their alone time but they almost didn't have any time for themselves. This caused a major conflict in their relationship which made them have constant fights and eventually to their "on and off" relationship.

Their definitive breakup was inevitable and Lauren shouldn't have been shocked when it happened. Still, it broke her to the point where she almost cannot go through a night without getting drunk or high. The fact that she can't confide to anyone about her heartache didn't help her cope with it properly either.

So when the tour started and she's forced to see Camila's face every day and interact with her for the next couple of months, she thought that this is God's way of saying 'fuck you' to her for all the sins she has done before.

She feels almost as if she's being locked in a cage full of wild animals, completely vulnerable and alone and the people outside are expecting to see her happy and carefree as if nothing bad is going to happen to her. She hates the feeling of being hopeless and unsafe.

All that Lauren wants to do now is to get this day over with, go home, and try to ignore Camila for the rest of the year, and possibly for the rest of her life if she could help it.

Lauren snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a knock from her hotel door. She shot her eyebrows up in confusion. She had made it very clear to everyone that she was going to take a nap and that she didn't want to be disturbed. Groaning, she sat up from her bed and started to practically drag her feet to the door.

She's surprised to see a dark beauty outside her hotel room with that signature smile of hers that seemed to lighten up everybody no matter how terrible their mood is. She's also holding two bottles of beer which made the green eyed girl cock an eyebrow at the sight of.

"Hey" the curly haired girl said as she made her way to the room uninvited but Lauren didn't mind. The girl with the long exposed legs handed her one of the beer bottle she was holding and grabbed the opener to open hers then tossed it her way after.

"Hey, to you too." The lighter girl said as she approached the dark beauty before her and opened her beer bottle. She took a sip from the bottle and said, "I don't know if drinking beer 3 hours before our show would be the best idea, not that I'm complaining or anything."

She chuckled lightly and took a sip from her bottle before saying, "Oh ease up Lauren. It's not like one bottle would get us drunk."

Lauren chuckled and rested herself across the girl with the wild curls from her bed. "I don't mean to sound so blunt but, what are you doing here Normani?" Lauren asked as she crossed her legs and took a long sip from the bottle.

"Straight to the point are we now Laur?" she chuckled but continued, "Okay, I'm gonna be serious here and try to be as straightforward as I can. I noticed that you've been acting differently for the past couple of months and have been pretty much avoiding most questions from us." She said as she set aside her bottle to a nearby table and looked at Lauren seriously.

It made Lauren insecure and vulnerable and she hates being both. She took a big gulp and said, "I don't know what you're talking about" as she moved her head to focus on the side, not daring to look at her friend.

Normani sighed and stood up from her place to sit beside Lauren. She put a hand on her shoulder and said, "Whatever it is that's bothering you, you know you could always talk to us. We're here for you Laur; me, Ally, Dinah, and Camila."

The mention of the smaller Latina made Lauren's heart ache more and she took a long sip, almost downing all of the contents of the bottle in one go before she opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by a loud banging on her door.

I seem to be awfully popular today, Lauren thought as she gave Normani an apologetic smile and made her way to the door being banged impatiently and harshly.

Lauren opened the door to reveal blonde haired woman standing in front of her with a huge smile that made their way from ear to ear if that's even humanly possible. "What up sexy thang!" Dinah greeted the green eyed girl in her usual energetic manner.

She was now making her way to Lauren's room and plopped down to the bed beside Normani who chuckled at the surprising presence of the younger girl.

"Yow, I did not know you guys were having a beer party here! Why wasn't I invited??" She asked feigning offence and Lauren and Normani both laughed at their friend's silly attitude.

"What's up Mufasa?" Normani asked as she grabbed her beer bottle and offered it to Dinah.

Dinah took the bottle and took a sip from it before standing up and saying, "It's the last day of our tour, we should celebrate right now!"

Lauren scoffed and said, "We're gonna have a party afterwards" she took a sip from what's left of her beer before tossing it to the recycling bag.

Dinah pouted and started her way to the door, "Jesus Lauren, lighten up a bit will you? I'll be right back, I'll go grab more of these," she paused as she holds up the beer bottle and then, "and call Ally and Mila to come over because we're having a tiny party for just the four of us." And with that, Dinah already vanished.

Normani and Lauren looked at each other before simultaneously shrugging and sat in comfortable silence. Both girls silently agreeing that Dinah's plans of a "party" will not be a good idea especially when it involved alcoholic beverage but neither made any protests about it.

Minutes later and Dinah arrived at Lauren's hotel room carrying a box of beer bottles with two petite figures following behind her.

Lauren's heartbeat sped up at the sight of the petite brunette in front of her. The smaller girl was wearing her signature outfit which was a white sleeveless crop top that exposed her perfectly tanned skin with her usual blue ripped skinny jeans that goes up to her waist line and kisses her legs so perfectly, the sight of her always effortlessly sends Lauren breathless. The green eyed girl quickly looked away, swallowing the sudden emotions building up from inside her.

"Uhh guys, I don't know if it's the best idea to drink beer literally 2 and a half hour before the show." Ally spoke up from behind Dinah and looked at both Lauren and Normani for some sort of approval to which she just received a nonchalant shrug of their shoulders.

"Ally has a point." Camila spoke up and glanced quickly at Lauren before turning to Dinah, "Besides, we're gonna have a party and it has alcohol in it afterwards." She finished and Dinah was now pouting while setting aside the box quietly.

"I don't see the harm of it" Lauren spoke up and with that, Dinah's face lit up as she eagerly picked up one bottle before Camila interjected,

"We're going to perform in less than 3 hours out there in front of thousands of audiences and you don't see the harm of going out there completely wasted?" It was the first time Camila had directly spoken to her in a complete sentence in nearly five days.

It didn't make Lauren feel too pleased that Camila is now picking a fight with her.

"I didn't say we had to get wired on alcohol. We can drink half a bottle or something, what harm would it do to us really?" Lauren argued defensively.

"Oh so you don't think even that little amount of alcohol won't affect our performance? This could put our whole careers into jeopardy for goodness sake!" Camila now yelled on top of her lungs.

"So you're worried about our careers now? Weren't you the one who's thinking of splitting so you could go solo? Maybe you could cut the crap and just admit that you're a selfish bitch who only thinks about herself." Lauren argued with the same intensity as Camila.

The tension between both girls shocked the three other girls in the room. All three of them looked at each other trying to silently ask one another about what to do. Ally was the first to talk and say,

"Ookay! So, what about this? We just hang out right now, ease up the tension a bit" she shot Lauren and Camila a glance and then, "Then later we can get as drunk as we want. How's that sound?" Ally finished with a hopeful smile.

Lauren scoffed and turned around, "whatever". She moved to her bed and sat down in silence with her headphones on and playing with her phone. The four other girls started interacting and doing little games and tried to let Lauren join in as best as they could.

About an hour and half later, the girls were called in to prepare for the show and Lauren couldn't wait for the night to be over so she can go home and be as far away from Camila as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

Lauren tried to ignore Camila as best as she could but it's extremely difficult to do especially since the choreography requires a lot of interactions between them and Lauren swears she could combust if she stays at close proximity to the smaller girl any longer.

Not to mention, most of the songs they perform always make her think about Camila and it's not helping her situation so much.

Since it's the last day of their tour, they have all decided to put in some changes from their usual setlist. The girls and the producers agreed on putting in more songs from the 727 album including the deluxe songs in their performance.

They are now on to their third song of the evening which is Dope. Lauren is placed between Ally and Dinah while Normani and Camila are on Dinah's right.

As they hum for the opening act of their song, Lauren is surprised to see Camila slowly making her way towards her.

 

_New Jersey tongue_

_Not saying too much_

_I'm feelin' your attitude_

 

Camila sings as she makes her way near Lauren and to be as obvious to Lauren yet subtle to everybody else. She senses Lauren's discomfort and she smiles to herself while circling around Lauren and settling beside Ally.

 

_That East coasting baby_

_Is driving me crazy_

_Just like it's supposed to do_

_With hands that could save me_

_Face that could break me_

_Sort of in love with you_

_But I wouldn't say that to you_

 

Camila steals a quick glance at Lauren when she sings the last line of her part and bites her lip for a second before turning back to the audience.

That act did not go unnoticed by Lauren and now Lauren is filled with various sorts of feelings for the younger girl and she's currently having a hard time looking away from her. Lauren mentally cursed herself for always being so weak when it came to Camila and forced herself to regain her composure.

Lauren moved towards Normani as Dinah sings her part of the song in hopes that she could distract herself from the tiny brunette that is now currently doing some unknown awkward dance moves which made her smile a little bit on her own.

The curly haired girl patted on Lauren's shoulder as if sensing Lauren's discomfort and gave her a comforting smile to which Lauren returned with a grateful one.

Lauren's solo came and she moved towards the middle of the stage and sang her part.

 

_I don't know what else to say but you're pretty fucking dope_

_Just so you know_

_I've been thinking 'bout ways that I wanna hold you close_

_Just so you know_

 

Lauren sang and tried her best to keep her eyes from the shorter brunette who is now standing beside her. She tried to ignore the feeling in the pit of her stomach that she has always felt for the silly brunette but it's difficult for her when all she could think about as she sing is how she thinks this girl is the best thing she ever had, how she just wants to wrap her arms around her every single night and hold her tight and close. And worse of all, how she regrets letting go of the single most perfect thing that happened in her life.

 

This is why Lauren dreaded being around Camila all the time ever since their break up. It's not because she hated her now for breaking her heart but because of the undying regret, pain, and love resting in the pit of her stomach, dying to be let out whenever she is within proximity of the smaller girl.

 

_I don't know what else to say but you're pretty fucking dope_

_Oh just so you know_

_I don't know what else to say but you're pretty fucking dope_

 

Lauren, unable to control herself any longer, spared a quick glance at the unknowing brunette as she sang her last line much more quietly than usual.

The song went on with Lauren and Camila goofing around with everybody but each other.

As the song came to an end, the girls slowly made their way to the stairs on the far back to sit on for their next performance.

"So this next song, I'm sure we're all familiar by now." Ally begins as she makes her way towards the stairs, "It's a very special and important song to us that we really fought for to make it in this album." Ally says as she slowly makes her way up the 3 stepped stairs and sat on the second step, "So please sing along if you know the lyrics and enjoy. This is No Way."

Ally finishes as the stage's lights turn off leaving five spotlights directing the five girls in the middle.

Lauren is seated between Ally and Normani in the middle while Dinah is seated on the far right side next to Normani and Camila is seated on the far left next to Ally.

Lauren closes her eyes as the beat of the song starts picking up,

 

_I know you don't want me anymore by the look on your face_

_They say when it rains it pours, you can tell by my face_

 

Tears start to make their way to Lauren's eyes as she sings her lines and remember the night she and Camila had, the night when it all went down.

The memory of that night is still as clear as a sunny day for both Lauren and Camila. And the feelings of regret still cloud their mind every single day and night they spend completely apart and broken.

 

_Oh and I know and you know that we've been here before_

_I think I know how it should end, we got an audience calling us crazy_

_Camila looks at Lauren for a brief moment before she turns back to the audience and sings her part,_

_We ignore those with opinions of hate_

_We're not like the rest of them, friends with insanity as of lately_

_Everyone comes with scars but you can love them away_

_I told you that I wasn't perfect, you told me the same_

_I think that's why we belong together and unashamed_

_I told you that I wasn't perfect, no way_

_Way, way, no way, no way_

 

Lauren's eyes are filled with tears as she open them. She can almost not see what's in front of her from the excessive amounts of tears on her eyes. She tried to rub on her eyes to wipe them away but it did her no good as it had only paved an opening for the tears to flow.

 

The tears on her eyes are now falling down her cheeks uncontrollably and somehow she can't find a way to make it stop from pouring. In an attempt to hide her crying, she ducks her head down and frantically rubs at her eyes while Ally starts singing her line.

 

Normani wraps a comforting hand around her in an attempt to comfort the green eyed girl but it only made things worse as her walls come crashing down in an instant.

 

She tries to breathe in and out slowly to try and calm herself down as Dinah sings her part of the song, Ally now wrapping a comforting arm around her much like Normani.

 

As Dinah finishes her part, she tries to sing her part of the song as gracefully as she can but her voice just came out raspy and it cracked a lot which didn't go unnoticed by Camila who is now looking at her with a worried look on her face.

 

Still, she tries to ignore Camila's staring and ignore the loud thump on her heart and ignore the urge to just bury herself in Camila's arms. Not now, she thinks to herself as she sings.

 

_Everyone comes with scars but you can love them away_

_I told you that I wasn't perfect, you told me the same_

_I think that's why we belong together and unashamed_

_I told you that I wasn't perfect, no way_

_Way, way, no way, no way_

 

Lauren closes her eyes as she allows herself time to relax and calm down. Not now, she thinks again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, I decided to continue this fic because I didn't wanna be a quitter. I am very new to writing and sometimes it frustrates me when nothing comes to my head(to the point of quitting) but I know I have to stop that habit and start pushing and learning as I go along. I apologize for the huge delay, I hope you guys stick around.

\--

After that emotional performance, Lauren and the other girls began to perform their next song, Brave Honest Beautiful.

Lauren mentally groaned as she thought about the song she and the other girls are about to perform.

This is the song that makes Lauren's head spin in thought of a certain brunette that takes over her goddamn mind 24/7. 

This is the song that makes the ever so tough and brave, Lauren Jauregui, weak, vulnerable and helpless. 

It's not so much about the lyrics or how it's performed, it's more about the connection Lauren has with the song. 

In fact, this song makes Lauren feel somewhat threaded to a certain brown eyed Latina, with that slightly chapped lips that just by one lick, turns to a shiny pearl-like object that looks so fragile that even just one look, it could break but the price of touching it is so worth it that sometimes, when Lauren knows she shouldn't, she couldn't help but bring those lips together with hers.

A girl with a curvy waist and wide hips that accentuate her enormous buns from her behind, a girl who has the perfect legs that even if Lauren absolutely dreads ridiculously tight pants, she would wear those so long as she owns the leg of that beauty.

And the girl that has to stand on her tip toes to place a long and passionate kiss on Lauren's lips whenever Lauren is being stubborn or grumpy.

The girl Lauren is hopelessly in love with.

 

  _Don't go and waste your precious time  
With all the nonsense on your mind, no _ 

 

Lauren is snapped out of her thoughts as she hears Dinah almost finished singing the first verse.

She didn't even realize that they had started and that she had been staring at Camila for who knows how long now.

Lauren turns to look away from Camila and instead, looks at Normani as she sings her first two lines.

 

 _Yeah you got everything with your perfect porcelain_  
Ain't no one compare to it  
You just gotta remind yourself  

 

Lauren thinks back to when she and Camila were in Camila's room and the girl had been very insecure of herself. It was the first time they showed complete vulnerability and trust with one another, the first time they had truly connected.

Camila had told Lauren about how she feels everyone is watching her and judging her, how she's not cut out to be in the group because everyone else in the group are _"ridiculously hot and she's just... well... that"_.

-

 _That you're amazing, babe_  
You're breaking down in every way  
Could be smiling every day  

-

Lauren remembers how she rolled her eyes so hard that it practically gave her a headache afterwards, how she had nudged Camila off the bed jokingly and said, 

_"don't say that dummy, because no matter what happens, even if you pour corrosive acid on your face, you'd still be perfect and look perfect to me."_

She remembers the sheepish smile and the evident blush on Camila's face that night, and she remembers how she couldn't help herself but kiss the Cuban-Mexican in front of her for the first time.

Lauren smiles to herself as she looks back up to the crowd and steals a look at Camila, a smile on her face and a look not short enough to be considered just a glance.

She got confused for a second when she finds Camila staring back at her with a confused expression of her own, then she realizes, she missed her line. She completely forgot she had to sing the last line before the first chorus and now she missed it.

Lauren blushes and turned to look away, shaking her head lightly. 

' _What the hell?_ ' she thought.

The whole song continued on with Lauren trying her hardest not to think about Camila and simultaneously trying to avoid Camila's prying stare and also trying to avoid looking at Camila, no matter how irresistible the tiny brunette may be.

After that performance, the girls hopped off their stairs and made their way to the front of the stage where they introduce their next song.

"This next song is one of the many special songs I have in a bag in this album as it really kind of defines me in a way that's different from all the other songs." Lauren began.

"I'm sure you guys are familiar of this song, it's also one of my favorites so I hope you all enjoy it! This is Scared of Happy! Sing with us!" Dinah continued for Lauren, and gestured for a high five to which the girl with the emerald eyes reciprocated enthusiastically.

 

 _It's been a while since I was lost for words_  
Needles and static and stutters  


 

Lauren started singing while swaying to the choreography they were taught for this song, thinking back to when she got lost in her thoughts of a certain sexy, yet goofy and dorky girl that is on her left.

 

_I never knew a love that doesn't hurt  
Feeling the heat and the burn_

_Just give me one good reason_  
Drop everything and leave it  
Seconds away from turning this car back around  
Something about your feeling, pushing and pulling me in  
And now my walls fall down  

 

After Camila sings her part, Lauren turns to face the shorter brunette to find that she was already looking at the raven haired girl as if she was going to say something but abruptly turns to look at the other way when she notices Lauren looking back at her.

 

_Usually fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
Usually fearless, why am I scared of happy?_

 

Lauren's ponders on the fact that this song very much describes her situation as of now. She tries to concentrate on the choreography hoping to distract herself but she fails miserably as the next lines Dinah sings hits her hard.

 

 _I'm afraid of nothing, I'm afraid of no one_  
Used to be fearless, why am I scared of happy?  
Scared of happy  

 

 _'Why am I so scared of being happy?'_ Lauren asks herself and momentarily gets distracted. She loses her rhythm in the choreography because of it but quickly regains her composure.

As Ally sings her solo verse of the song, Lauren's thoughts started invading her again and it seems as though she has no power over her own mind as of the moment, so she lets it in.

 _'When was the last time I was happy?'_ The raven haired thought as she moves to a different spot as per the choreography's requirement.

Instead of concentrating on the choreography, Lauren is now focused on trying to remember the last time she was happy.

Lauren thought about her question for herself really long that she almost messes up the choreography again.

She sighs as she gives up trying to find the answer when a sudden flood of memories came crashing into her brain.

Memories of her and a certain brunette, smiling, laughing, cuddling, kissing, touching, and most of all, happy.

As Ally and Normani's part finishes, Lauren tries to go back to focusing on the choreography and song, but again, fails miserably.

Lauren thinks back to her first question and keeps repeating it the entire time Dinah sings the chorus.

She straightened up, closing her eyes to feel the moment and sang her next line,

 

  _When it all goes down, when it all goes down_

 

Lauren kept her eyes closed until Camila sang the third word of her part,

 

_Will you still be around?  
I'm coming back, no more running away_

 

Lauren looks at Camila and is not surprised when she sees the younger girl already looking back at her. 

They stare at each other for a second, letting go of the anger and frustration they feel towards each other for that second and letting themselves be like the old Camila and Lauren again until they both simultaneously decided to turn away.

The song continued on with both Lauren and Camila trying to avoid each other as much as possible, yet again. 

\--

"How's everyone doing today?" Ally screams at the huge and ridiculously loud crowd. 

"Everybody's excited" Dinah said a little out of breathe but with a slight and evident chuckle.

"Well they should be. Because I know that people are gonna freak out about the next song we're gonna sing for them. In the best way possible." Normani added, making the whole stadium erupt with the sounds of excitement coming from the audiences.

Dinah chuckles loudly against her microphone and says, "They're already freaking out ManiBear! And you haven't even revealed anything yet!" Dinah said in between her chuckles.

Normani and Dinah began to giggle and high five each other and linking their hands which caused another eruption in the crowd. They know how to please their fans.

"Who wants Allysus to take over the wheel and introduce us to the next song?!" Dinah screamed to the roaring crowd, she barely heard herself even against her microphone, while Ally shots her a confused look puzzled by the nickname used but shrugged it off almost instantly.

"All right! I bet y'all aren't ready for this so brace yourselves!" Ally started, 

"This song is something y'all never really heard us perform live so it's really special to us that we're performing this to you for the first and last time in this tour!" Ally stalled a bit as the crowd erupted again

"I think they're all getting an idea of what this might be." Normani said as she makes her way to the stairs to sit down next to the shorter brunette who's already positioned in her seat. On the brunette's left is Dinah who's nudging at Lauren and whispering inaudible things at her that everybody is pretty sure neither can hear or understand what.

"I think so too. So, without any further ado, sing along with us as we sing, 1000 hands!" Ally exclaims and retreats to the steps behind her, scooting in between Dinah and Lauren which earns her a scowl from the tall blonde. 

The piano starts and the lights dim in the place, all the girls are immediately in character with their song as Camila starts,

 

  _Tired, tired, you're all I want, yeah_

 

Camila closes her eyes as she sings the first line of her verse.

 

 _It'll be 'til the end, give me nothing I've ever tried_  
It'll be the perfect sin, something like the truest lie  
  


A certain raven haired Latina with a beautiful emerald eyes suddenly invades Camila's thoughts and she can't help but smile sadly at the thought of her.

She remembers the very first time she had shown complete vulnerability to someone, she had been so shocked that it came out so easy from her. 

She remembers cuddling with the older girl in her room.

She remembers her very first kiss.

It wasn't the first kiss Camila always imagined happening, it wasn't anything grand, or exactly life changing. She wasn't wearing a dress, and her first kiss wasn't a Prince like she envisioned. The moment wasn't the most romantic like she wanted, it wasn't like the movies.

But it was the best kiss Camila has ever had, and she thinks that she would never EVER trade that moment for anything else. 

Camila loved every second that Lauren's lips touched hers, she loved the sound of Lauren's sigh whenever they reconnect their lips after separating for a few seconds, she loved how the girl with the emerald orbs chuckle whenever she trickles little kisses to every part of Camila's face except her lips to which earns a frustrated groan from the smaller girl.

She loved how natural it felt. She loved how Lauren's smile gets wider when Camila asks her to stay with her for the night. She loved how she woke up next to a sound asleep pale raven haired beauty the morning after, how she stared at the gorgeous woman in front of her for the next hour until she stirred awake and attacked her lips almost instantly.

She loved how they intertwine their hands that early morning while they stare at each other peacefully without question. 

Camila finally opens her tear stricken eyes after Lauren sings the last line of the first chorus, she didn't even realize she had been crying.

She spares a slight glance at the older raven haired girl and isn't surprised to find green eyes looking back at her.

They look at each other for a few more seconds, both wearing sad smiles, neither strong enough to look away, until Lauren finally breaks the eye contact with difficulty and looks at the floor instead.

Camila does the same and wipes at her tears.

She looks back up to see that Ally has finished singing her verse and Dinah's already in the middle of her own verse.

After Dinah finishes her part, Camila starts singing, surprised to find that her throat seemed dry and her voice came out hoarse and forced.

 _I just wanna feel a thousand hands from you and only you_  
Can you make me feel a thousand hands from you and only you?  


She closes her eyes while singing her remaining parts, trying to not think about a certain green eyed girl with the addictive smile and piercing glare.

But, her own brain betrayed her as she remembers the words they sleepily, but meaningfully said to each other that morning they were cuddled up in bed.

The sentences that she can never forget:

_"I don't want to feel this feeling from anybody else."_

_"I want you."_

_"Only you."_

_"I want to feel these feelings from you, and only you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Two AN's in one chapter? Annoying, I know, I'm sorry. I just wanted y'all to know that I have another fanfic called "Sparks Fly Whenever you smile" and yes, it's inspired by the song Sparks Fly by TSwift, anyways, I'll be putting that fic on hold until I figure out how long and where I take this fic. Thank you for being patient! I love y'all, stay awesome!
> 
> Also, next chapter will be THE chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

It has been an overly emotional night for the two Cuban Latinas performing on stage, tonight has been really pulling the strings of what's left of their self control.

Lauren in particular, cannot wait to get this night over with already so she can bury her head on her pillow in her room to hopefully get some peace for the rest of the night.

Normally, they all have an after party after every tour, and normally, Lauren would be the person who would never dare miss any opportunity to party.

But, tonight is different. She doesn't want to party. She doesn't feel like dancing in a tight spaced room with nothing but sweaty bodies around her and a head piercing noise in the background.

Tonight, she actually feels too overwhelmingly tired that all she thinks she wants to do is lie down on her hotel bed, binge watching some over played TV series on Netflix, and cuddle with her Nala stuffed toy.

She sighed inwardly as they prepare to start their next song of the night.

The girls formed a horizontal line on the stage, Ally being situated on the far right side of the stage, to her left is Lauren who's deep in thought and seemingly unfocused, to Lauren's left is Normani who's smiling at Dinah who's situated on the left of Camila, and Camila beside Normani.

Normani started singing, taking slow strides to the front of the stage, spotlight only on her.  
  


_End of the night, looking at me, what do you see?_   
_Wish I could read your mind_   
  


As Normani sings her second line, she turns around to look at Lauren briefly and then shifted her gaze towards Camila afterwards.   
  


_Dimming the light, here in the dark, going by feel_   
_Only the moon to guide_   
  


Camila sings her part, walking towards the front of the stage and next to the taller, curly haired beauty.

She cannot help but notice the sudden pang on her chest at the mention of "moon".

Camila have always loved and adored the moon. It is her peace, her salvation, her home.

She's not a fan of dark and unknown places, in fact, she prefers to go to places she's familiar with and is bright enough to see and secure her future. In short, she's not much of a risk taker.

That is until she found her salvation which is the moon.

Every time she's in a dark place, every time she's in doubt, and every time she's scared, she tends to close her eyes. That's her normal. She prefers not to see at all if knowing that all she would see is the dark and unknown.

She "met" the moon.

One night, when it was too dark for her to see, too scary for her to open up, a voice called for her, giving her the strength and courage that she needed to face the unknown, and showed her the light amidst the endless loop of darkness.

Her moon.

Her moon guided her to face her own fears and insecurities, it guided her to find her strength, it made her better.

Her moon is the definition of beauty and divine. Her moon is pale, it has features of a goddess, its lips is usually crimson, sometimes just naturally slightly chapped red, it has a ring on its nose that looks painful when you think about the process of it being put, its hair was long and dark and smooth against her skin.

Her moon looks majestic, breathtaking.

But what really made her want to be closer to it, and to follow it without question is its eyes. They were green, but not the typical boring ones. In fact, if only she could put into words how majestic and complex its color is, she would literally write a 50 page essay solely about that.

Her moon had a name. But after everything that she and the moon went through, she's not very sure she could call her moon with that name anymore, so she tries to forget its name.  
  


_Only you know how to save me_   
_Put your arms around me, baby, and squeeze_   
  


And before Camila knew it, Dinah is already finishing the chorus.

 _'Wow, I really spaced out there.'_ she thought to herself as she is pulled into a bone crushing hug by none other than her best Polynesian friend.

"Thinking about someone Chancho?" Dinah whispered against Camila's forehead as she practically chokes the air out of Camila's lungs in that hug.

"Nacho,... can't... breathe" Camila chokes out the words as she struggles out of Dinah's grip which earned her a loud chuckle from the taller blonde.

The whole stadium erupted as soon as the fans noticed the cuddly Caminah moment on stage.

Dinah only continued to laugh, slapping Camila's butt and made her way to Normani who quickly hugged her in the middle of her run, while Ally starts her part of the song.  
  


 _Remember the night talking to me_  
 _Saying the words I wanna hear the most_   
  


_'I love you'_ Camila recalls the first time those words left the raven haired beauty's lips as she leans in to place a chaste kiss on the smaller girl's forehead.

She recalls how a tiny prickle in her chest caused an enormous wave of tears flowing through her eyes and down her cheeks.

She recalls the worried and panic look that is cast upon the taller girl's face, how her emerald orbs are beginning to water as she stutters and desperately tries to find the right words, or the words to take back what she just said.

And then she recalls the moment she shook her head and smiled brightly despite the uncontrollable tears flowing down her cheeks, how she said those three words back with so much emotions and feelings and happiness in between sobs and soft kisses.  
  


_Give me your heart, gave me your coat_   
_When I was cold_   
_Taking me sweet and slow_   
  


She remembers how cold that night was but how warm her chest is from all the burning emotions inside of her, and perhaps the adrenaline of it all but scientific reasoning is irrelevant at that point for her.

She remembers how Lauren took one side of her coat off of her and nudged her closer until they're literally cuddling inside Lauren's jacket and Camila's certain that it was the warmest she ever felt in her whole life.  
  


_When we're alone, I get so close_   
_Give me your warmth I've never known_   
_Face to face, caught in a wild embrace_   
_This is the safest place I've ever known_   
  


Camila wakes up from her daze, she looks to her side to see that Lauren's looking at her.

Not just looking, but staring intently at her, as if trying to challenge her into something. She's not sure why.   
  


_Put your arms around me, baby_   
_Put your arms around me, baby, and squeeze_   
_Only you know how to save me_   
_Put your arms around me, baby, and squeeze_   
  


Before Camila could even think about it, her legs are making their way over to Lauren's side. Her body is seemingly having a mind of its own because she's certain that she can't stop it from throwing itself on Lauren's body.

But she tries to take control of her body and instead, makes her way over to Ally and gives her a huge hug.

She sees Lauren's "almost" disappointed look at the corner of her eyes, but she tries to ignore it.   
  


_Put your arms around me, baby_   
_Put your arms around me, baby, and squeeze_   
_Only you know how to save me_   
_Put your arms around me, baby, and squeeze_   
  


"Group hug!!!" Dinah screamed on her microphone and quickly dragged everybody into a huge hug.

Camila's body is against Lauren's.

Lauren's body is against Camila's.

And they both think that this moment is an exception. That it's acceptable. That it's inevitable. That they can't do anything about it. So they just accept and melt into each others bodies in the middle of the group hug.

The moment they all pulled away, both Lauren and Camila are a little bit hesitant but they know they have to so they do.  
  


 _Won't you squeeze me, hold me, baby_   
  


Lauren sings the last line while looking straight through Camila's eyes, not as intensely as before but more of in a soft and tender kind of way.

\--

They're onto their last song before Encore, Lauren's relieved that she's going to make it through the night, just two more songs and they're done.

 _'Just two more songs...'_ Lauren repeats to herself as she keeps motivating herself to do her best and to enjoy for her fans and her band.

Lauren closes her eyes as Ally starts up with the song.

 

_I'm not gonna leave you now_   
_Oh, I know it's gon' get better_   
_I'm not gonna leave you now_   
_Oh, I know it's gon' get better_   
_I won't leave you for a money man_   
_No matter what we go through_   
_I'm not gonna leave you now_   
_Oh, I know it's gon' get better_

(--)

 _'Lauren please. I don't want to fight. Our fights doesn't even make sense anymore, it's just little things that we fight over.'_ Camila says as she follows Lauren who's pacing back and forth in Lauren's room.

 _'Little things?! You think that this is just some petty fight? We barely see or talk to each other anymore and I see you hanging out with that trash boy almost every free time you have and now you come to our date late because you were hanging out with him, doing who knows who! You think this is "little"?!'_ Lauren snaps at Camila, unable to control herself.

 _'Lauren, Shawn's just a friend! I don't understand why you get so worked up and jealous over him when I've told you over and over again that it's you that I want!'_ Camila answers, clearly exasperated.

 _'That's the thing Camz, you've continuously told me that. You tell me I'm the one that you want all the time but every time I see you with me you always have that look on your face, like something is missing, like I'm not enough for you anymore.'_ Lauren explained as she stopped pacing and sat on the edge of the bed.

Camila followed Lauren to the bed and sat next to her, unable to utter a word, instead, just reaches out to intertwine her fingers with her girlfriend.

 _'And whenever I see you with him, I get afraid that you might be happier with him. That you'll eventually leave me because I don't make you happy anymore.'_ Lauren continued with tears flowing down her cheeks, clutching at Camila's hands tightly as if she's afraid that even losing a little bit of pressure on it would make Camila go away.

 _'Hey, hey, look at me.'_ Camila says as she places both of her hands at each side of Lauren's face and gently turning to face her.

She wipes at Lauren's tears ever so gently and says, _'I'm not going to leave you. It will get better, I know it. I know because I love you.'_ And with that, Camila leans in to press a long kiss to her girlfriend's lips.

(--)

 

Lauren opens her eyes and spares a glance at a certain brunette who is seated next to her.

She sees her, eyes closed and crying as she sings her part.

Her world falls apart.

 

(--)

 _'I can't do this anymore Lauren. We've done nothing but fight these past few months, I'm done. I just, I just can't anymore.'_ Camila says in between sobs, not looking at the watery orbs of the green eyed girl that she loves so dearly.

 _'I- What are you saying?'_ Lauren asks despite knowing full well the answer of that question. In fact, she has known for a long time that this was going to happen, it was bound to be.

 _'I think we should end this.'_ Camila said simply, voice raspy and wavering, refusing to look up at the emerald orbs where streams of water are flowing out of. 

Lauren pauses. Her world seems to stop; her body, the people around her, and the things around her. They all are static. 

Except for the girl in front of her. 

She sees the girl in front of her shake in her place, head down, lips trembling, hands in her hair, tears streaming down her cheeks uncontrollably and her breathing heavy.

She sees the girl she loves break in front of her. 

And she sees the girl she loves break her heart. 

She thinks about the happier time they had together. She thinks about the first time they ever laid eyes on each other, and the first time they ever held hands.

She thinks about their first kiss and the sensation they felt after it. 

She thinks about their first date, how Camila had told her it was her first date and how she held her hand the entire time, how Camila's laugh sends the butterflies in her stomach go wild, how they kissed goodnight and how her heart went wild.

She thinks about their worst days, how the thought of being discovered scared them both, how they decided to put some space and how that space broke them.

She thinks about Camila's words when she was afraid she's going to lose her. 

 _I'm not going to leave you. It will get better, I know it. I know because I love you.'_   

She thinks about how they both failed. 

Her grip on Camila was too strong on the shorter Latina and ended up hurting her more.

Camila was too weak to hold on to Lauren and ended up short on keeping her word.

So when Lauren's world starts to turn again, her body and mind does what it does best:

Run.

(--)

 

 _I'm not gonna leave you now_  
Oh, I know it's gon' get better  
  
I'm not gonna leave you now  
Oh, I know it's gon' get better  
I won't leave you for a money man  
No matter what we go through  
I'm not gonna leave you now  
Oh, I know it's gon' get better  

 

(--)

When she first heard about the shorter brunette doing a solo project with "mother fucking Shawn Mendes", as she addresses him, she got furious.

She even got more enraged when she heard rumours flying about them possibly dating. She sees it everywhere and it makes her want to jump on someone's skin.

 

For weeks, she's always in a bad mood at home and constantly goes out to party, get drunk and get high to forget about the pain she's feeling.

She knows she doesn't have the right to be jealous anymore. She let the girl go. She's not hers to keep anymore.

She doesn't hate Shawn. In fact, she thinks that he's too sickeningly nice and polite to everyone that it makes her sick to the stomach.

But he makes her smile and laugh so effortlessly, like she used to do. 

And she can't help but feel the pang of jealousy and loathing against the boy.

 

She hangs out with her friend Lucy.

Lucy helps her forget about Camila, Lucy keeps her company every time she goes out to party, Lucy doesn't leave her side until Lauren asks her to do so when sober, Lucy comforts her, Lucy helps her without even asking.

Lucy is good because Lucy stays and she knows that Lucy won't ever go because she knows that Lucy loves her.

She loves Lucy so she kisses her one night. It didn't feel right but she doesn't stop because it makes her forget.

One day, Lucy tells her the obvious. Lucy tells her she loves her and she laughs. She says she knows and she continues to suck on the tender skin of Lucy's neck and Lucy pushes her back, her hands on each side of her face and she repeats the same words.

Lauren's face grows serious. She lets go of Lucy and backs away softly. Lucy tells her again and she can't hear because her head is ringing and aching, all she can think about is how it sounded so much like each time Camila said those words to her. She wants so desperately to feel the same way it made her feel when Camila said it to her. 

She wants to feel it with Lucy because Lucy doesn't hurt her and would never hurt her. 

But she can't. It doesn't happen. And it never will, she knows.

So she does what she does best. 

She runs.

(--)

 

 _I don't know why you always think that I_  
Always think I'm unsatisfied  
That I'm tempted by kings with the finest of things  
But you know that ain't got no truth  
I don't know why you always think that I'm  
Unhappy with our paradise  
That I'm wanting the trees that are growing the green  
But you know all that I want is you  

 

 

(--)

She couldn't sleep. She's exhausted, she just went out and partied all night but she couldn't sleep.

So she goes out to their little balcony at 12:25 in the morning, lighting a cigar and bringing it to her mouth.

She blows out puffs of smoke and sees a a certain brunette across from her, sitting in a bench stool alone.

Her heart and body aches to approach but her mind says run.

The girl is shaking, her body is moving.

She takes long dragged steps towards the girl and hears her low sobs. The girl doesn't see her and she's thankful about it.

She stops in the middle of her tracks and sees the girl clutching at a Polaroid photo.

She can't see clearly but she knows well enough that that photo is of her and the girl on her bed, cuddling with huge smiles on their faces, having no care about reality at that moment, they were living in their own fantasies.

Her eyes starts to brim and she cries silently in her place.

She wants to touch her, to tell her she's sorry. She wants to tell her that it will get better and that she will never leave her again.

She wants to tell her she loves her, but she can't. Her mind won't let her.

So she does what she does best.

She runs.

(--)

 

Dinah continues singing her verse and Lauren is looking at Camila, deep in thought, tears in her eyes.

Camila looks back at her with the same sad expression but still looking like the most valuable being ever created on this planet to Lauren and it hits her. 

Running away will never do her any good. Running away will just lengthen the situation and make it worse. 

She stares at the most beautiful brown eyes she's ever seen and she sees sadness in it. But more than that, she sees love and desperation. 

For months Lauren kept running away from what she loved. And for months she has neglected what Camila needed the most. She needed and needs to be caught. 

Camila is constantly falling on a loop and she has constantly been running away from her, leaving her falling to the ground again and again. 

This time would be her chance to change her habit. This would be the time she wouldn't run away anymore. 

She would stay and catch Camila.

 

Lauren stands up as they all sing the chorus. This time around, Lauren doesn't sing anymore. She just stands there and looks at the crowd as if she's preparing to do something extremely courageous and probably stupid.

Ally's tone shifts as she sings the chorus which was evident, she looks at Lauren confused. Dinah and Normani are confused as well, Dinah makes a move to stand and approach Lauren but was cut off when Lauren starts moving.

Lauren is in front of Camila and Camila looks up, confused at what the girl is doing.

They stare at each other for a few seconds until Lauren starts to break down and her knees starts to give out.

She kneels in front of Camila, her head is down and she can't stop crying.

This shocked everybody in the stadium, even the fans and the girls on stage. The singing stops.

"Lauren what are you-" Camila is cut off by Lauren's voice

"I'm sorry." Lauren starts abruptly.

Everybody in that place is left confused. But the girls on stage right now are the ones who are the most confused.

"Lauren, are you okay? What's happening?" Ally inquires Lauren quickly moving to her side in front of Camila and places an arm around Lauren's shoulders.

"I'm so sorry I didn't fight for us. I'm so sorry I kept leaving. I'm so sorry Camila" Lauren says in between sobs, completely ignoring everyone around her.

Dinah and Normani uneasily look at each other, at Ally, at Camila and at Lauren.

"I won't ever leave you again Camila." Lauren continues.

Which sends the three other girls who are all huddled up in the center of the stage more confused.

The audiences are growing concerned about what is happening on stage, they can't hear anything and they don't know what's going on.

The crews are rushing to see what's happening and chaos ensues in the stadium.

That is until after Lauren says the next words that comes out of her mouth.

"I love you Camila." 

Camila's world stops. Her body stops, her breathing stops. She thinks that she might collapse but she stays tethered and standing.

"It's you, it's always been you that I want and need. Running away from you was the biggest mistake I've ever done in my life. I don't ever want to do that again." Lauren continues in between sobs.

Lauren stands up and stares at Camila's frozen body for a couple of minutes. 

She doesn't see her answering and making a move so she tries to move forward and the shorter Latina backs away.

This shattered her, she makes a move to run and leave but gets stopped when she gets crushed into a hug by none other than Camila.

The whole stadium pauses and goes silent for a few minutes until it erupts with realization of the situation.

Lauren buries her head at the crook of the younger girl's neck and she hears her say,

"I love you too."

Lauren starts to tear up and hugs her tighter.

The girls around her are left frozen at the sudden display of affection they are seeing between these two girls on stage. 

Dinah is the first to break their silence, "Oh my God!" she shouted so loudly that it might've echoed all the way to the back of the crowd.

The four other girls quickly looked at Dinah in shock and worry,

"I knew it! You guys! Oh my God! You! You two are in love with each other!!!" Dinah shouted in excitement, pointing at Lauren and Camila who are still wrapped in a tight embrace, facing her like she's a crazy lunatic.

Ally and Normani slowly turned to look at both Camila and Lauren and relaxed a little bit.

"Oh my God I'm so happy!!! I knew I wasn't going crazy! I knew something was going on between you two..." Dinah continues babbling to herself in the background, fangirling while Ally tries to calm her down.

"I don't think anybody with brains and eyes didn't know about you both being in love with each other." Normani says as she puts both of her hands on the sides of her incredibly curvy waist.

Camila and Lauren blushed as they let go of each other slowly and hesitantly.

"True. I've actually been counting the days until you both would admit it to us." Ally says as she tries to hold Dinah down who's now on her knees, sobbing.

The crowd erupts in worry over seeing Dinah on her knees, crying on stage.

"I don't think they have any idea what's going on right now" Normani pointed out to the stage and everybody, but Dinah who's still crying, is looking at the crowd.

Lauren looks at the confused and worried faces of the crowd and does the first thing that comes to her mind.

She holds the sides of Camila's face and kisses her in front of the crowd.

It's soft and slow, Camila is surprised and frozen at first but quickly recovers and kisses back, she wraps her arms around Lauren's neck to bring her closer and Lauren wraps her around Camila's waist.

Lauren smiles in the kiss and mumbles 'I love you' against Camila's lips. Camila smiles a toothy smile which made Lauren kiss her teeth and sees this as an opening to bring her tongue into the action as gently as she could.

Camila opens her mouth to let Lauren's tongue slide in, they stayed like that, not caring about what the people around them would think.

The crowd explodes and it's so loud that it surprised everybody on stage except Camila and Lauren who are still kissing.

Dinah looks at them kissing and almost faints, Ally and Normani smiled and mouthed 'Camren' to the crowd while pointing to the two making out on stage.

Lauren and Camila slowly broke apart and smiled at each other tenderly and with so much love.

"I love-" was all Camila could say when she was harshly being pulled apart from Lauren and she sees that Lauren is being pulled apart from her too.

And before they both know it, there's chaos on stage, she can't see Lauren anymore, or Dinah, or Ally, or Normani.

She's being dragged alone and out of the stage.

The loud gasps of worry in the crowd was the last thing she heard.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was so long I'm so sorry. This didn't turn out the way I wanted but I tried. Sorry for making u guys wait a week for this, I literally rushed through writing this I'm so sorry... I love y'all hope u enjoyed!


	5. Chapter 5

_"I love-_ " _was all Camila could say when she was harshly being pulled apart from Lauren and she sees that Lauren is being pulled apart from her too._

_And be_ _fore they both know it, there's chaos on stage, she can't see Lauren anymore, or Dinah, or Ally, or Normani._

_She's being dragged alone and out of the stage._

_The loud gasps of worry in the crowd was the last thing she heard._

_-_

"Get the fuck off of me!" Lauren yelped as she struggled to break free from the large man's grasp, who's now dragging her to the backstage.

The man stayed stoic and poised as Lauren kept trying her futile attempts at escaping the two-size larger man from behind her.

The raven haired girl kept squirming in her place and kept yelling profanities at her perpetrator as his grip on her loosened for a little bit, she saw it as her opening to blow a hard elbow at the man in the gut making him wince in pain and loosen his grip entirely.

As soon as his hands released her arms, she made a run for it, to Camila, wherever she is. 

As she made a sharp turn to the corner, she bumped into a man, just a little bit taller than her. He's wearing glasses that looks so ugly on him, it makes her want to puke on his cheap suit. 

He's looking at her, an evident scowl on his hideous features. He huffed at her as he looks behind her.

"Take her to the dressing room." He ordered the man who had grabbed Lauren earlier. Lauren looks back at the man and now sees that he is actually a security of them.

The security man nodded once and moved to grab a struggling Lauren.

The guy followed behind them. As soon as they entered someone's dressing room, Lauren's not sure who's dressing room it was, right now she doesn't care, she just wants an explanation and to get the hell out of there and find her love immediately.

The man pushed Lauren to a seat and forced her to sit down, "Leave us." The grotesque guy ordered the security and left without another word.

"What the actual fuck?!" Lauren started, looking up at the guy standing before him pace around with his right hand on his face and his left hand supporting his right.

"Shouldn't that be my line Lauren?" The guy started as he looks at her,

Lauren looks at him confused and impatient. She made a move to stand but the guy pointed a finger at her and glared at her in warning,

"Don't you dare move." He said and Lauren sat back down.

"Why the fuck did you do that?!" He began yelling at her

Lauren recoiled at her seat at the sudden intensity of his voice. It's not like Lauren is afraid of the guy, she even bets that she can break this guy's bones in a matter of minutes or even seconds.

She's only surprised because she has never heard this man yell at such a volume at anybody before. Sure, he has yelled but it was mostly done in a whisper. This man used to give the "coward" or "weak" image that he wouldn't dare start a fight because he's too afraid he might get hurt physically.

And he especially knows not to yell at Lauren. He's scared of her, she knows that for a fact. 

There are so many reasons why he's scared of Lauren Jauregui. One, she's very VERY strong. Physically strong. She can tackle anybody to the ground in a matter of seconds if she wanted to and he's no exception to that. 

Another reason is, he has already been suspecting that this girl, Lauren Michelle Jauregui, could potentially ruin Camila Cabello's career.

As Camila's manager, he often knows Camila's every moves and schedules and moods. Camila hasn't exactly been very successfully subtle about her feelings for the emerald eyed woman in front of him, and ever since he's noticed this, he has been particularly up at Camila's butt about dating guys like Austin Mahone and Shawn Mendes despite the younger Latina's pleas not to force her into it.

He's afraid that Lauren would return these feelings and potentially ruin Camila and his job. He's been getting so much since he started as Camila's manager and he can't afford to lose this one. 

Lauren is still at her seat, not moving nor speaking.

He sighed, exasperated and said,

"I want you to get back out there with your girls and finish the show. But I don't want you near Camila or even so much as to look at her.  I want you to get as far away from her as possible." He said the calmest way he possibly can.

Lauren's eyes shot up and her blood pressure is seemingly rising as she is now on her feet, eyes bloodshot, about ready to end him.

"ARE YOU FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" Lauren began, shouting at the top of her lungs. "IF YOU THINK THAT I'LL BE DOING WHAT YOU FUCKING ASK THEN YOU MUST BE SOME SORT OF A STUPID MORON! THERE'S NO WAY I'D LET HER GO. NOT WHEN I'VE ALREADY DONE IT A MILLION TIMES AND NOW THAT I HAVE THE CHANCE TO HOLD ON TO HER, I WILL FUCKING HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE!"

"If you do tha-" He started but Lauren stomped to his way and interjected,

"LET ME FUCKING FINISH!" She said as Gold shrieks in horror. She towers over him despite being shorter by a couple of inches.

"I LOVE HER. I hurt her a million times before, do you realize how much that fucking sucks?! She's always been so patient with me, she loved and waited for me. She loved me fully and unconditionally and all I was was stupid and insensitive. I hurt her so many times and now that I have a chance to make it up to her, I won't let that pass up. I will show her how much I love her whether you LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU CAN GO WEEP TO YOURSELF FOR ALL I FUCKING CARE!"Lauren said, a little out of breathe, her eyes watering.

"You'll do as I say if you really love her. Did you forget what was written on the contract?" He started.

"Section 38, Not to engage in a romantic relationship with a fellow band member, a person ten years and older, unless specifically told to, and/or with a person of the same sex." 

Lauren recoiled a little bit, giving Roger the sudden surge of confidence

"And besides, I think you know that this doesn't just affect you and Camila, this affects ALL of you. ALL of Fifth Harmony." He continued, emphasizing the "ALL" in his point. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to ruin everybody's careers just because you're "in love". Lauren, you have to stop being selfish and think about everybody else."

He stated, sounding convincing to Lauren. Lauren is left frozen in her place. She's overwhelmed, she doesn't know what to do and she's panicking. 

_He's right._ She thought. _I can't jeopardize the other girls' careers just for the sake of my own happiness. But what about Camila? I can't hurt her again. I don't think I'd be able to survive if I did._ Lauren processed in her mind. 

She shook her head as she looks at the ground. 

_What should I do?_

Exhausted, she took a seat back to the chair she had been originally shoved to and buried her face in her hands.

_I don't know what to do._

She felt a hand to her shoulder and looked up to see Roger Gold's hideous face now close to her, 

"There's only one right thing to do here Lauren, you and I both know it." He said in a whisper

Lauren looked straight to his eyes and saw no compassion or anything that resembles that. She saw smug and determination. 

A flash of image of a younger brunette came flooding through her mind. She closes her eyes for a brief moment. 

Tears slowly came trickling down her cheeks as she thinks of the moments she shared and would potentially share with the young brunette.

She imagines the potential time with her and Camila happily living together, in love. 

_Is love really enough for the both of us?_

_Will love be enough to tether us with each other through any and every challenges we go through?_

_Will we stay happy if I decided to choose her?_

_What would happen to the others? I know Normani would pursue dancing, Ally would probably find a decent job somewhere, and Dinah would probably go back to school. All these, they're more than capable of doing but what if it would be difficult for them? What if this decision could potentially destroy them and it's all my fault?_

_What about us? What will happen to me and Camila if I chose my heart over my head? Would we stay happy forever? Or would it last shorter?_

_Would it be worth it?_

_Would I be worth it for her?_

She asked herself all these questions despite already knowing the answer deep down. She knows she has to do the right thing.

She took a deep breathe, a long exhale, and wiped at her tears before she nodded and said with a crack in her voice,

"Okay" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know the "contract" I've stated here sounds quite absurd but it's for the purpose of the story so I'm really sorry if it's inaccurate, I have no clue whatsoever about what goes on in the music industry, more so with bands so please don't take these infos to heart.
> 
> And yeah, this one's a lot shorter than the other ones, sorry. But on the bright side, I know where I'm taking this fic now! I'm finally having a destination with this story!!! Woot Woot! This story is nearing its climax guys!!! I mean, not quite yet but... 
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you think of Lauren's decision and what you think is gonna happen next! Thank you for always reading and I love y'all! xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

She woke up to the sound of rustling from behind her dressing room.

 

Camila squinted her eyes to focus on her surroundings. She tried to recall the events before she collapsed.

 

Lauren was kneeling in front of her.

Lauren said I love you to her.

Lauren kissed her in front of thousands of crowds.

Her friends were supportive of her.

 

Camila smiled at the memory.

 

She can't help but be giddy and happy at the thought of Lauren and her coming out in the most unexpected way possible.

 

She can't help but blush and smile at the thought of how romantic it was and how that was the happily ever after she's always dreamed of.

 

But that smile quickly turned upside down as she remembered the part where she was dragged out of the stage and fainted.

 

She can hear the loud scream of worry from the audiences in her head.

 

She was dragged out of the stage and so were the other girls and Lauren.

 

 _'And Lauren!'_ She thought as she quickly got to her feet and marched to the front door.

 

She quickly twisted the door knob to open only to find that her manager, Roger, was already there, standing in front of the door with Lauren.

 

 _'Lauren!'_ She thought to herself again and threw herself across the empty hall to Lauren's arms.

 

Lauren hesitantly returned the hug with the same intensity and passion. Her grip getting tighter around the smaller brunette's waist as if she doesn't want to ever let go.

 

But she does.

 

Lauren is the first one to break the contact with tears stinging her eyes.

 

"Hey" Lauren said with a crack in her voice. Her throat is suddenly filled with a lump that prevents her from speaking.

 

Camila's hands are resting on both sides of Lauren's cheeks as she searches for anything that hurt Lauren.

 

She rubs her thumbs at her girlfriend's cheeks to comfort her.

 

"I'm here." Was all Camila said as if that two words were enough to ease Lauren.

 

Granted it was. 

 

But Lauren could not say the same for the beautiful brunette in front of her.

 

Lauren just nods and closes her eyes as she savors this moment for this will probably be the last time they're in this position.

 

Tears come streaming down Lauren's eyes as she thinks of the next thing she has to say.

 

She can sense Roger's prying eyes from the back of Camila's head and she can't help the gut wrenching desire to punch her girlfriend's manager's face.

 

But she holds herself down and tries to calm her nerves.

 

Lauren places a gentle kiss on Camila's forehead for a very long time before pulling away to look at the shorter brunette and examine her. 

 

"I love you so much." She says and stares longingly into the brown eyes she loves so much.

 

Camila, not sensing anything odd in Lauren's tone, wraps her arms around Lauren's neck and stands on her tip toes to kiss her tenderly and passionately.

 

The kiss is slow, both girls savoring every second and every touch of each other's lips.

 

Camila tilts her head to the side to deepen the kiss and Lauren almost succumbs to the feeling of their lips together.

 

Almost.

 

Lauren quickly pulls back with a little peck on Camila's cheek before saying,

 

"I can't do this to you Camz" she begins.

 

Camila shoots her girlfriend a questioning stare, not understanding what Lauren means.

 

"I love you too much" Lauren continues, pulling away entirely from Camila.

 

She slowly backs away and tears are free flowing from her eyes.

 

"Lauren, what are you saying?" Camila asked, unable to hold back her confusion.

 

"I'm saying that I'm letting you go because I love you." She said, her eyes on the floor, unable to meet the hurt that's evident in the shorter Latina's brown eyes.

 

"Wha- I don't understand. Why are you saying this? Just ten minutes ago you said you would never leave me again and now you're saying that you're letting me go?!" Camila said in fury and hurt. Her eyes are stinging with tears she couldn't hold back.

 

"I lied." Lauren said, her tone blank and dry. Camila couldn't read her.

 

"I love you Camz. But the world isn't ready for us. I don't think it ever will." Lauren continued.

 

"I don't understand what you're trying to say" Camila said in between sobs.

 

Lauren is silent. Trying to hold down her tears as she feels the hurt in Camila's voice stab her 20 times more and 20 times harder.

 

When Lauren doesn't say anything, Camila makes a move to open her mouth and talk only to be cut off by her nosy manager.

 

"What she's trying to do is break up with you Camila." He began.

 

Camila turned around to face her manager with so much fury in her features that he'd swear he would get cut just by her stare.

 

Her manager flinched back and hesitantly continued. "You would be better off without each other Mila. It would be bad if you continued this. Not just for you but for your friends as well." 

 

"You don't make decisions for me or for my friends Roger." Camila hissed at her manager.

 

She turned around to face her girlfriend, her face softens

 

"Lauren, just ignore what he said. Okay?" Camila said as she scooted closer to her girlfriend.

 

She made a move to kiss the green eyed girl on the lips but the taller girl moved away quickly.

 

"Camila..." She began, her voice strained.

 

Camila steps a half step back and makes a confused expression.

 

"You're not seriously considering his ridiculous words are you?" Camila asked, hurt laced in her tone.

 

"I love you Camila but I can't do this. I can't risk everybody's career and life just because of love" Lauren said, refusing to look at the younger girl before her in the eye.

 

"You're ridiculous! You say you love me but you won't even fight for your love?! You told me you won't leave me but you are considering it right now! How fast does your mood swings Lauren? Are you even in love with me? Or are you just in love with the thought of me?!" Camila yelled at Lauren, losing her temper altogether.

 

"Of course I love you Camz!" Lauren yelled back with much sincerity.

 

"Then why can't you fight for me? For our love?" Camila asked with intensity.

 

"Because I'm not strong enough. I don't know if I'm strong enough to hold on to you, I don't know if I'm strong enough to be gentle to you, I don't know if I'm strong enough not to make you cry, I don't know if I'm strong enough to give you all that you want and need!" Lauren yelled back

 

"You've always been scared of the unknown Laur. That's what makes you weak. You don't take risks. All I ask from you is to take the risk that is me!" Camila shot at Lauren.

 

"Why do you make yourself miserable for everybody else to be happy? Can't you let yourself be happy for once?" Camila's voice softens at that.

 

"It's easier to be miserable than to love you." Lauren replied, her voice is low and almost inaudible.

 

Camila is hurt by Lauren's words.

 

She sighs in defeat and asks her one last time,

 

"Is that what you really want?" 

 

For a few minutes, Lauren stayed silent. Tears are still flowing down her cheeks.

 

"Yes." Lauren said with a crack in her voice.

 

Both girls' tears flow down their cheeks at the same time as they look at each other, hurt evident in their eyes and features.

 

 _'It would have been easier if that were true'_ Camila thought to herself as she walks away from Lauren without a single word.

 

Roger looks at Lauren and says,

 

"You did the right thing Laur." He whispers to her as he goes after Camila.

 

At that, Lauren breaks down, alone and miserable.

 

 _'It would've been easier if that were true.'_ She thought.

 

 

 

\--

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Fun Fact: I was going to end this story in chapter 4. 
> 
>  
> 
> BTW guys, I'm really sorry about this chapter! I know it's one of the worse chapter I've done so far and I'm just equally disappointed as y'all might be right now! I really didn't want to post this like this but sometimes a little bad can be good for us ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways I just want to thank y'all for your votes and very nice and entertaining comments!!! Y'all are insanely awesome!! 
> 
>  


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Y'all have been very nice to me in the comments section and I just wanted to thank y'all for that! I really do appreciate it, and I would thank you all one by one but I'm too lazy and my wattpad app is shit(it hangs up whenever I click on the comments). So anyways, Thank y'all so much for reading, voting and commenting, it literally brightens up my day! Love y'all xoxo.

"What the fuck?!" a tall blonde screamed in the dressing room they were situated in.

"This is ridiculous!" A slightly shorter raven haired beauty continued from behind the younger blonde. 

"I'm sorry ma'am. We were just following orders, we have no control over this." A large man with a very deep, scary voice informed the girls in front of him sympathetically. 

"If it were up to us, we would've never interrupted.." the smaller, yet still brawny, man mumbled almost inaudible with his head ducked down, hands clenched together and a slight pout on his face.

The larger man shot a glare at his co-worker and then continued, "We've been _ordered_ to let you stay here for a short time before they _sort_ the situation out. Please refrain from coming out unless told otherwise. We'll be standing outside by the door to keep watch, if you ever need us." And with that, he opened the door and made an exit with his co-worker.

"Can you believe them Ally?!!" Dinah began as she spun around too strong that she almost stumbled and lose her balance. Luckily for her, the couch is only a couple of inches away so she had something to hold on to.

When the trio got dragged to a separate room from Camila and Lauren, it left them frozen and scared shitless. They didn't know what to do, and when they regained their composure, they began to bombard the men with questions even the persecutors didn't know the clear answer of.

The girls were told that the team had to pull them out of the stage and out of the spotlight to do some "damage control" and rectify the reckless "mistake" that's been made by two of their bandmates.

Of course, this response only added fuel to the fire in the girls and they had become relentlessly loud and stubborn on the way to the dressing room. Dinah, in particular, hasn't been too happy with the information she received.

" _Damage control_? Really??!!" The blonde Polynesian continued in her tirade, "What damage did they have to control?! If anything, they're the ones causing the damage here!" 

Dinah fumed in her place. She's stomping her feet, and paced back and forth in the tight and enclosed dressing room that the three women are currently occupying.

The tall Polynesian woman chewed at her nails as she paces the room. She does this a lot when she's either incredibly nervous or incredibly angry. The two Texans decided on the latter as Dinah Jane made a move to go outside but is stopped  by Normani.

The taller blonde struggled in the grip of the shorter but evidently stronger raven haired beauty who's arms are wrapped tightly around her waist, eager to stop with whatever reckless decisions the blonde makes.

"Mani, if you don't let go of me in 2 seconds, I swear to the Lords, who let this happen, I will rip your arms off my damn body." the younger blonde warned with a stern look and determined voice.

Dinah still struggled under Normani's grip but the curly haired girl loosened her hold a little which paved way for Dinah to almost completely break free from her hold.

"Okay, maybe it's best if we're calm and rational before we go out and confront them." Ally said, standing up from her seat, making a move to help Normani hold down the struggling girl.

"But Ally, these guys are the fucking wo-" Dinah was stopped when she felt a sudden feeling of being harshly shoved down to the couch. 

The action caught both blonde women in the room off guard, mostly Dinah who's seated on the couch, her eyes wide and a hint of fear in it. 

"Okay, first of all," the dark skinned beauty started, leaving the two blonde women in front of her shocked and momentarily stunned.

"You may be Dinah Jane Hansen, the giant mufasa of Fifth Harmony who could single-handedly put larger men and women on their backs but don't you ever forget that you're dealing with the one and only NORMANI KORDEI. I could put you on your back _in a second_ if I wanted. So don't you dare use that tone on me. You might be Mufasa, but I'm Sarabi and everyone knows who dominates who here." Normani ranted at Dinah with a scary scowl, pointing her finger directly at the taller blonde seated frozen in her spot.

Dinah and Ally are actually really scared at that moment. Ally moved to sit next to Dinah and just wrapped her arms around the taller blonde for support to which the Polynesian accepted willingly.

Normani took in the sight of her friends that are whimpering like children who are scared of monsters under their beds. She let out an exasparated sigh and said,

"So, now that you're hopefully a lot calmer, we can talk about this _situation_ " 

"I'm just worried about Mila and Lauren. Y'know? What if they're in trouble for doing what they did? I mean, I personally don't think they did anything bad or wrong but I think we all know how uptight the management can be. Especially Mila's dickhead of a manager who's more plastic than a plastic bag itself." Dinah said, much calmer now than before as she slumped in her seat and crossed her arms. 

The Polynesian, along with her two bandmates in the room shuddered at the mention of Camila's "dickhead" manager.

The girls have always hated Roger, and they know deep down that Camila feels the same too. They despised his guts and how he's always up at Camila's butt: telling her what to do and what not to do; telling her who to date and who not to date; telling her who to hang out with and who not to hang out with; telling her what to wear and what not to wear; telling her when to go out and when not to go out; and basically just ordering Camila around like she's his puppet and her world is his play.

"Considering how strict the management and Roger is on both of them, I think it's highly possible that they might be in the deepest shits right now." Ally said, not worrying about her use of profanities since she's too emotionally infested in the drama they're currently in.

Normani sighed in her spot once more and made her way to the couch occupied by her two blonde friends. She made a gesture to Ally and Dinah to scoot over so she could sit in between them.

"I really do hope they're fine though." The dark skin Texan began. Her two friends listened intently while looking off into space with a tired expression in their facial features.

There was a long pause before Normani continued, the room was filled with silence as the adrenaline left their systems and fatigue came crashing through their cores.

"Knowing Lauren, I'm sure she's gonna do something stupid yet kind of heroic again." Normani continued with a sad and exhausted chuckle.

"That loser is too good to make decisions that will make her happy. She'll literally give the last piece of pizza to the person beside her if they asked, even if she's so hungry she could eat a horse alive. That girl needs to learn how to give some tough love!" Dinah said, making hand gestures as she goes.

"That's our Lauren for you. Badass on the outside, a precious cinnamon roll on the inside." Ally said with a slight smile on her face.

By now, everyone in the room is chuckling but their chuckles are laced with sadness. 

Already knowing the unspoken fact, the three girls silently agreed that, yes, Lauren probably did something stupid for their sake and they wouldn't be surprised to see that she did.

"What will happen now?" Dinah inquired to no one particularly. Deep down, she knows what's going to happen but she feels she needs the confirmation.

"It's a win-lose situation. Whatever the other one decides on doing, they'll lose something in return. Right now, it's up to Lauren and Camila to decide which path they're going to chose." Ally informed in a drowsy manner.

"Whatever their decision is, I know those two will always find a way to each other." Normani said which earned her quite hum of approvals from the two girls in both sides of her.

\--

Camila stomps down the long hallway and to a much more secluded area.  Right now, what she really needs is space and time alone, even for just awhile. 

She slumps down the corner and breaks down.

She just breaks down and cries there as she listens to the still confused murmurs in the crowd.

Camila clutches at her chest, 

 _'Why did I have to love you?'_ She thought as she tightens her grip on her chest

_'All you've done is break my heart and leave. But each and every time you come back I always find myself letting you in. You're not good for me. You're not good for my heart. But I can't let you out.'_

"Camila!" she heard an unpleasant familiar voice call her name from behind. 

She silently wished that it was the mesmerizing green eyed girl who's calling out her name, telling her she was wrong and she changed her mind. Screaming her love on top of her lungs to her and for her. Telling her she was just joking and she would never leave her crying like this ever again.

She wanted it to be like the movies.

She took a deep breathe and closed her eyes. She counted to three in her mind, hoping that when she turns around she sees the older Latina with the wavy hair and illuminating eyes kiss her without a single word.

She turned around.

She opened her eyes and doesn't see any green eyes.

Instead, she sees a dull pair of light brown eyes, boring into her creepily as if the pair is prying into her soul.

It sent her chills, and the negative kind of chills that almost makes her puke in that instant. 

She would've done it if she didn't have any care in the world or her image.

She holds the puke in.

And most of all, she holds her tears as she keeps looking behind, hoping to see a pair of green eyes come out at any minute, despite her attempts to tell her mind and heart to stop hoping.

Her life wasn't like the romantic movies.

And it never will be. 

"You have to clean yourself up Mila, you look like shit. You're gonna go back on stage in less than 10 minutes. We're going to get the others ready too, people are upset!" Roger began as he made an attempt to place his hand on Camila's shoulder.

The shorter girl shrugged his arms rudely and made her way to one of the dressing rooms with the makeup artist,

"Don't worry, I'll be there." She said it in a monotonous tone and left the older man in his place as he watches her go. 

One of the security teams approached him and informed him that Lauren is getting ready with Dinah and the others in the dressing room.

Roger dismissed the man without as much of a thank you or any kinds of gratitude and walked to the girls' dressing room.

He needed to talk to Lauren to make sure she doesn't do anything stupidly reckless again. He needed to make sure the girl doesn't get close Camila and influence her with her talks of "love".

He needed to protect Camila's career. He needed to protect HIS career.

Camila's hideous manager walked in the dressing room, not even bothering to knock or inform that he's coming in.

He barges in like he owns the place and he talks to them like he owns them. Much like how he talks to Camila and it sends them in a frenzy of hate and urge to punch.

"Hey girls, I need you all to be ready in less than 7 minutes!" the man began as he made his way to where Lauren was.

Lauren's face is streaked with tears and her make up is all over the place. It's clear that the girl went through an emotional break down much like Camila.

Her eyes are dull and tired, her nose is red from all that sniffling and snots clogging from crying, her voice is too raspy and uncontrolled, her hair is disheveled, her lips is a mess. In other words, Lauren Jauregui is not in the condition to perform at that time and more so in less than 7 minutes.

"Lauren, what the hell?!" Roger began, exclaiming. "You look like shit! You've got a performance in less than" he paused to look at his time and continued, "6 minutes! Everyone doesn't have time for your petty love dramas, hurry up and get ready!"

That earned him several angry side glances from everyone in the room, and if a single glare or look could kill, Lauren Jauregui would've devoured this man in less than a minute.

"This dickhead has the fucking nerve-" Dinah was literally 2 seconds away from punching Roger's sweet glass covered eyes off of his face but she was held down by Normani again with a hand on the shoulder and a little glare.

Normani is as furious as Dinah but she knows not to do anything reckless.

So instead, she helps Ally help Lauren get ready. Dinah followed suit while sending daggers in Roger's way.

Roger huffed and turned around to go back to Camila while he looked down at his time and yelled, "4 minutes left girls!"

If Lauren had told herself from 5 hours ago that this tour would just get worse, she wouldn't have believed herself.

But alas, the end of the tour just got worse than she imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A bit of a filler-y chapter... Sorry bout that. And yes, this is 4 days earlier than when I normally upload but I just felt like writing and posting so here y'all go! 
> 
> Who else hates Roger in this fic?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Happy Belated Thanksgiving guys! Eat lots of Turkeys and don't forget to thank your loved ones. I was going to post this yesterday but things happened and I didn't have time to finish it yesterday. So Sorry!

The tour ended seemed to drag and stretch for centuries. 

The fans' confusion wasn't a surprise for the girls who performed, it was expected.

Camila and Lauren tried to act casual and "normal" around each other throughout the night but certain things will never be "normal" between them. 

Both Latinas tried to hold in their tears as the crowd chants and almost roars "Camren" whenever they're a few feet close to each other. They tried to maintain their distance though. And the crowd noticed, but shrugged it off.

For the audience and the camren shippers, it was a fun night.  A night where their dreams finally came true. A night when the moon and the sun finally admitted their undying love for each other to the world.   A night they would never forget.

For Camila and Lauren, it was an overly exhausting and overly emotional and dramatic night. A night where their dreams shattered right before their eyes. A night when the moon and the sun finally admitted their undying love for each other to the world, but ended up colliding and breaking each other in the process. A night they would never forget. 

After their closing remarks, Camila took off as fast as she could. 

She didn't say a single word to anyone. She literally ran to her shared tour bus, not bothering to hug anybody. Not the crew, not Ashlee, not Roger( _ew wtf why would she even_ ), and not even the girls. 

She didn't have to say anything for them to understand though, they understand just how hard everything that's happened for her. They both know that all she needs is time and space, so they give her that. That's the least they could do.

Apparently, Roger didn't get the memo and took off to follow her. 

Camila doesn't see Lauren when she runs. She doesn't see the tears in her emerald eyes. And maybe that's a good thing because if she did, she knows for sure her legs will fail to function. And she won't be able to move.

Camila is in her bunk at the tour bus she shares with Dinah and Lauren. She lies down there for a second, just looking up and imagining the starry night sky.

She gets up and grabs and packs her stuffs.

She can't stay here. Not with all the memories and lingering feelings still so evidently present in her surroundings. She needs to get away.

Just as she finished packing, she hears the door open loudly and she's silently hoping it's a certain emerald eyes that will sweep her feet off the ground and beg her not to go. 

Strong arms wrapping around her slender waist, head and hair buried in her shoulders, holding her tightly like she's a treasure she found in an island. She wishes that it's the girl she loves that would come in and hold her face and kiss her like she has never kissed anyone before.

She wished it was Lauren.

But to her disappointment, it's not. 

She was met by a horrendous sight in front of her. Roger, with his disheveled, almost non existent hair and his glasses slightly crooked and nose red from the cold. 

He looked hideous that it's almost impossible not to laugh at his pitiful state.

"Where are you going?" He asked, not even bothering to ask how she is doing after seeing her tear stained cheeks and red nose from crying.

"None of your business." Camila replied in a monotonous tone as she moves through him with an intentional and hard bump on the shoulder.

"Mila, I have the right to know. I am your manager." Roger insisted, grabbing the brunette's arm harshly.

"Ow! Let go of me you creep! You don't have the right to pry in someone's private life! You don't have the right to destroy MY life! You're just my manager!" She screamed as she shoved the man away from him, making him stumble and fall to the ground.

Roger, shocked for a moment, regains his composure and gets up. His blood is boiling from the sudden outburst.

He tidies himself and clenched his jaw, "Fine. Do whatever you want, but I want you to update me about your whereabouts. Wouldn't want to worry your parents would you?" He said as he slowly walks out the door, giving a sly smile.

Camila rolled her eyes and slumped on the floor. If she could fire that man, she would've done it since day one. 

She couldn't fire the guy because as much as she hates him and as much as she hates to admit it, the guy knows the music industry. He helps her a lot with more solo projects and she's had a lot of freedoms doing her own work and writing her songs. 

Writing is one of Camila's passion. She loves to write and express herself to the world with her writing. 

And with her manager's help, she can do multiple collabs with various artists and she's had so much freedom when it came to music, something that she didn't have when she had been completely bound by the Fifth Harmony contract.

Don't get her wrong, she loves being in Fifth Harmony and she has no plans in leaving soon, but she also loves and making her own music. The girls are supportive of her and wants her to continue doing what she does. She loves them for that. 

And while she wants to stay in the band and make more music with them, her manager is much too eager to get her to go solo. 

He started bugging her about it ever since they were on the process of completing the 7/27 album and it seriously irritated the hell out of the brunette's ass that she almost lost all the control the brunette had and almost punched his hideous features.

Camila sighed as she shook her head and stood up to grab her bags and started walking out to the door only to be blocked by a taller figure in front of her.

"Yow. Going somewhere?" her tall guitarist friend asked as she started making her way inside the bus.

"Yeah," Camila replied simply, looking down. She knows the guitarist is there to drag her to the afterparty but she's just not feeling up to it right now. She needed her space.

"Want me to come with you? I ain't got nothing to do here and the party's kinda borin without you you know, I mean, Dinah's pretty lit but you're pretty lit-er if you know what I mean, don't tell her I said that though." She said, trying to lighten the mood with a joke while walking over to Camila and putting her arms over the smaller girl's shoulder.

Camila chuckled slightly and shook her head, "No. I mean, I appreciate it but, I really just want to be alone right now. I need some fresh mother nature air." Camila said still not looking at her friend.

"Hey, you know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll always be here. And Dinah and Normani and Ally and-" the guitarist hastily stopped. The words were unspoken but the message is clear. She didn't think Camila was ready to hear it so she shrugged and continued, "and everybody. We're here for you if you ever need someone. We're just a call away." She said while wrapping her long arms around the tiny brunette's neck and pulled her in for a long hug.

Camila hugged back, tears in her eyes, and said, "Thanks Ash."

"Anytime kiddo." Ashlee said as she let go of her friend. 

Camila wiped at her tear and gave her friend a genuine smile before walking off. She doesn't know where to go, and she doesn't know where to stay. All she knows is that she can't stay there.

Dinah sees her tiny Latina friend walk away as she approaches the bus and Ashlee who's standing by the door.

"Where's she going?" She asked the guitarist.

"Somewhere, where she can breathe." The guitarist said simply as she walked to the opposite direction.

Dinah is left in the bus, contemplating on whether or not she should go after her friend to comfort her or if she should give her the space she needs. 

She decided to do the latter and trust her best friend to do what is right.

\--

Lauren sees everybody's sweaty bodies roaming around, doing crazy dance moves, she sees several drunk and high people, mostly the crew, a few others who are random people or family members of the crews and the girls.

Lauren is a party girl. She always was and always will be. But tonight is different. She doesn't feel like partying, she doesn't feel like drinking, she doesn't feel like dancing, in fact, she doesn't feel anything at all. 

Except that dull and numb feeling inside. 

Her mind is raided by a certain tiny brunette and she can't keep her out. She needs to but she doesn't want to.

She downs two, three, four, five, six, she honestly lost count, shots of vodka before making her way over to her probably drunker friends, grinding on some random dudes and dudettes.

"Hey Lauren, want to dance with us?" Ally offered, while swaying her hips and wrapping an arm around the taller raven haired girl's waist.

"No thank you Ally. I'm a bit tired now. I think I'm gonna go ahead now." Lauren yelled over top the loud music. 

Normani and Ally gave each other a knowing look and a sad smile before nodding in approval to Lauren.

"Do you want us to come with you?" Normani asked, concern laced in her tone.

"No. You guys have fun here. I'll be fine on my own, I'm a big girl now" Lauren said with a chuckle and a slight smile that didn't really meet her eyes.

The two girls just nodded and gave their friend a comforting hug and let her go.

 _I'll be fine_. Lauren thought to herself as she staggered her way to the tour bus she shares with Dinah and Camila.

 _Camila_. Lauren silently hoped the smaller brunette will be there to hold her and kiss her and say that she'd never let her leave. 

She hoped that the brunette had been stronger and braver. She couldn't be the strong one, so she thought she'd put all the burden on Camila.

 _Selfish_. She thought to herself as she trips on her own untied converse shoes.

"Fucking shitty shoes. Who designed these motherfuckers? What the actual fuck my life fucking sucks, I want to die" Lauren mumbled to herself, not bothering to get up from her fallen position. Instead, she tucks herself in as if she's ready to doze off in the middle of the road.

The emerald eyed girl's eyelids started to get heavy as sleep slowly took over her. 

She almost fell asleep when she hears a voice not so silently and gently call out her name. She slowly opened her eyes to see who the owner of the voice was but her eyelids are persistent and heavy.

She feels a sharp pain in her cheek and before she knew it, she's being pulled up by some stranger.

"What the fuck are you doing here sleeping in the middle of the road? You crazy or something?" The woman who assaulted her angrily yelled at her as she is being pulled up by the tall girl with dyed blonde curly hair.

"Who are you?" Lauren asked, still a bit too tipsy to recognize who the person was.

"Who are you? Really? That's what your'e gonna tell me after I see you here lying down almost lifeless. I thought you were dead already, if I hadn't come here to help you maybe you really would've died." the girl said while she places Lauren's arms around her neck for support.

"Who are youuu today will you be the sun or the pouring rain? 

Who are youuu tomorrow will you make me smile or just bring me sorrow?" Lauren drunkenly sung.

"Jesus Christ help me." The woman said while struggling to drag the unwilling Lauren Jauregui to her tour bus.

"You're religious?" Lauren asked and stopped walking slowly.

"Ugh, no I'm not. It's just an expression." The girl said while still struggling to drag the shorter girl to the bus. She's surprised that such a tiny girl could be so strong and can hold so much weight.

Lauren started crying and slump down on the floor again. 

"Hey, what the hell? What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" the girl asked, giving up on dragging the raven haired beauty and completely letting her go.

"I want to die. I hurt the most important person in my life and Jesus just let me fucking do it. I don't deserve to live." Lauren said in between sobs.

The girl didn't say anything. She just simply wrapped an arm around the crying girl in front of her.

Lauren finally submitted and walked to the tour bus. Ashlee knocked on the door of the bus, knowing that Dinah was in there as she was tired and wanted to rest early, the Polynesian also wanted to stay in the bus in case her best friend came back home, she would bake her a cookie and give her milk and just give her a huge hug.

"Hey, sorry to bother but you're friend here" the guitarist paused to point at Lauren's almost lifeless looking body "She's kind of really drunk and I think it's time for her bedtime." She continued and made her way inside the door while dragging Lauren.

"What happened?" Dinah asked, already knowing the answer but felt the need for it to be confirmed.

"She got drunk cuz of Camila" Ashlee said simply while she puts the raven haired girl to her bunk side.

Ashlee got up and went over to Dinah and said while looking at Lauren, "Those two really need to talk it out. It sucks to see them both so miserable when they literally don't have to. I'd kick Mila's bitch ass manager if I have to so that those two could be happy together."

"I know Ash, I honestly would do the same but it wouldn't be that simple. These two are literally so selfless that they'd give up their happiness to make everyone else happy." Dinah replied, a sad look on her face.

"Dumb kids in love." Ashlee said with a chuckle as she shakes her head and started moving to the door.

"They'll figure it out. I just know it. I've always known that whatever adversities those two faces, it'll always get better for them." Ashlee said one final time before she waved at her friend in goodbye.

\-- 

Lauren dreams. She dreams of a certain brunette. She dreams of a future with her. She dreams of loving her the way she deserves to be loved.

She dreams of the past, of the present, and of the future.

 _'I'm not going to leave you. It will get better, I know it. I know because I love you.'_   She dreams of her voice, she dreams of when Camila said these words to her like it's the solution to all the world's problems, and maybe it is.

"It's gonna get better." Lauren mumbled in her sleep as a single tear escaped her eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow this was a shitty chapter. Anyways, I wanna thank y'all for always sticking around, commenting and voting on this silly work, this story has gone farther than I imagined and I couldn't be more proud and happy for it. I love you all.
> 
> P.S.: I know Camila's reason for not firing Roger is huge BS(I cringed when I wrote it) but it's necessary for the story and frankly, it's not really important. Just trust the title guys, I know what I'm doing.
> 
> (oh and also, Camila not firing Roger is one of the plot holes in the story that I tried to cover up with cheap paper. sorry)


	9. Chapter 9

Camila doesn't know where she's going but she's moving. 

She's not driving, or taking the bus, or running; she's walking.

She's tired but she keeps on going without direction.

Wet trails of tears are embedded on her rosy cheeks, her chocolate eyes turned into a crimson color from all the crying, her scarlet nose, runny and itchy. 

She's dragging her bag to wherever she is headed and now that she thinks about it, she's not so sure why she even packed when she knows for sure she'll have to come back there anyways.

A lot are consuming her mind this night. Like, how is her family, how's Sofi doing in school? Is she still having troubles with her math homework? Or how her mom and dad are doing and if they're taking care of themselves and her sister.

And if they're missing her just as much as she misses them, or if they're thinking about her right now like how she's thinking about them.

Or if they already know about what happened, if so, how did they react? Are they worried, are they happy, are they mad?

She also thinks about her friends outside of Fifth Harmony. What are they doing right now? Do they miss hanging out with her?

She thinks about the other girls, if they're worried about her, if they're wondering where she is and if they're looking for her.

And most of all, she thinks about Lauren.

The girl with the most beautiful, enticing, mesmerizing, emerald eyes. The girl with the perfect hair and perfect eyes that brings her into immediate submission.

The girl with the rosy cheeks and cherry lips that are oh so perfect against her lips. 

The girl with the cute nose and lovely smile that makes her heart skip a beat every damn time.

The girl with the perfect arms and perfect hands that wrap around her waist whenever nobody's around.

The girl with the raspy yet so soft and mellow voice that whispers soft reassurances against her ears, too close to be called normal yet far enough to deny any romantic linkage. 

The girl with the perfect legs that tangles with her own every time they sleep together.

The girl who she loved so tragically and beautifully.

The girl she will never stop loving.

The girl that once made her whole, held her like she's the most fragile thing in the world, the girl who cherished her for dear life, the girl who loved her back.

But no matter how much care the girl put into her, she always just ended up breaking her. No matter how many or how strong the patches are, she always and will always break her.

Maybe it's just the way it is. Maybe it's their fate, their destiny.

Maybe they really are meant to be. Meant to meet by fate and meant to be each other's destruction.

It's a twisted world they're living in. Fate can blind them and make them believe that they're right but maybe the truth was that they were wrong.

They were never meant to be each other's whole, but rather, each other's harm.

But fate be damned because Karla Camila Cabello will never stop loving Lauren Michelle Jauregui. Never. 

And that's what hurts the most for the brunette. The fact that she can and will never let go of her love for the green eyed and raven haired beauty is what's hurting her the most.

Before Camila knows what she's doing, she finds herself walking down the path to the beach. 

Camila wipes at her tear stained cheeks and eyes and slowly but surely move towards the sand filled salt water. She stops just right in front of the push and pull of the waves, she studies the flow of the sea before her. 

It's dark but she's almost certain that the color of the sea is as green as the color of Lauren's eyes. 

Another tear escaped her eyes and this time, she's determined to make it the last tear that escapes for Lauren. 

She wants to move on. She wants to get over the older Cuban girl, and she will do it.

Maybe Roger's right. Maybe all she needs is a break from the group. Maybe she needs to do her own thing and be free. Maybe it's time to say goodbye to Lauren.

Her butt collapsed to the sand filled ground as she ponders on that thought. 

She loves her group and she loves working with the girls. But what is the most logical thing to do if she's given a huge opportunity and the assurance of her career.

Fifth Harmony is growing and is still growing as a group, it would be quite illogical to separate from the group now that they're finally having their big break as a group.

But Camila is doing exceptionally well on her solo projects. Not to mention her songs that SHE wrote herself is getting out there. If she goes solo she would have more freedom to get her songs out to the public. To express herself more with little limitations. She can be herself.

But she knows she can't leave. Not yet.

She sighed as she moved to lie down on the beach, her back against the sand and her hands on top of her chest.

She closed her eyes, trying to drown out her thoughts and let the calm breeze lull her to sleep.

At this point, she doesn't even care if she falls asleep there and wakes up with paparazzis interrogating him with their cameras and questions anymore.

She's too physically and emotionally exhausted to give a single damn about anything right now.

She closes her eyes and she dreams of a certain girl with emerald eyes. She dreams of a universe where they end up together, loving each other, being happy together, die knowing that they love each other and they made their love reign above everything else because there weren't any high stakes on their necks. She dreams of a happy life.

She dreams of Lauren whispering against her lips, _"Don't be scared, it's gonna get better eventually. Trust me."_

A single tear rolls down her cheeks, unbeknownst to her conscious self. 

Maybe it's impossible not to cry about Lauren.

\--

Lauren woke up at an ungodly hour when she suddenly felt the need to throw up.

3AM in the morning and Lauren's head feels like it's going to explode any minute now. 

She tried going back to sleep but she couldn't. Not with Dinah's loud snoring echoing the silent tour bus.

She's tried drinking milk in hopes that it will help her sleep but to no avail.

She's also tried listening to lullabies to lull her to sleep but it only gave her major anxiety.

Nothing was helping so she thought she'd go out for a quick walk, hoping it would tire her enough to sleep.

Lauren grabbed her jacket as it was really chilly outside and started walking.

She's not very familiar of the place so she doesn't go far.

She thinks about the events of tonight and how a lot has happened in such a short period of time, it's almost laughable.

She thinks about her decisions, she questions herself whether it was right or wrong.

She tells herself that what she did was for the best and that it was the right choice but her heart keep on saying otherwise.

She thought back to the good old days when no one knew, no one suspected, and no one judged because it was only them who knew. 

She thought back to when she used to kiss the shorter brunette in secret, when she used to hold her hands during dinners under the table, when she used to wrap her arms around the girl's waist and whisper sweet things against her lips.

She thought back to when they used to share blankets when they sleep, or when Camila always sneaks into her house late at night unbeknownst to their parents.

She thought back to when Camila would kiss her in private after every mall show and how they would end up cuddled in bed hours later.

She thought back to when it all started to fall apart. When they each were told to date certain people for promotions, how they started fighting every night and soon every day.

How each of them grew wary and cold around each other. How trust almost almost dissipated around each other.

But love never washed away for both of them and Lauren knows that Camila still and will forever love her. And she too will do the same. No matter what, Lauren Michelle Jauregui will forever love Karla Camila Cabello.

And that's what hurts the most. Their love is so inevitably tragic and beautiful. 

 _Maybe it's destiny's way of telling us that we're not meant for each other._ Lauren thought as her feet brought her to a nearby beach.

Lauren didn't realize that she's gone too far from the tour bus and decided to make her way back to hopefully fall back to sleep.

She made a move to go but her body tells her to stay and admire the view of the beach.

She looked at the time which read, 3:59 AM. 

Fuck it. She thought as she made her way to the sand and took off her boots to dip her feet under the freezing water.

She winced a little at the initial shock but slowly relaxed into the sensation of cold salt water against her bare feet. 

She strolled around the beach for a few minutes, not thinking about anything, just calming herself.

She was about to dry up and leave when she saw a someone lying on the beach ground just a few feet away from her. 

She warily took a few steps closer to better see who owns that body.

When she's close enough to see who, her eyes widened in shock and impulsive conclusions.

She ran as quickly as she could to where the brunette's sleeping figure is situated at and quickly cupped her face, checking to see if the girl is breathing.

"Camila?" She inquired, voice laced with panic. 

"Goddamn you're freezing." Lauren silently cussed as she picked the smaller brunette up and carried her away from the shore.

She carefully put the younger girl down in a much more plain and concrete ground. She took off her jacket and placed it around the brunette to warm her up. 

She checked the temperature outside on her phone which reads, 2C.

"Jesus christ, how long have you been sleeping there?" Lauren asked to the sleeping and shivering body in front of her.

Lauren rubbed her hands together and blew on it a little bit to warm it up a little and placed it against both sides of Camila's cheeks.

She gently rubbed her thumbs against Camila's tear stained face in an attempt to gently wake her up.

"Hey, Camz. Hey, hey, wake up. You can't stay here. We need to get you home." Lauren whispered which earned her a silent sleepy groan.

Lauren smiled. It's been a while since she's last heard that. It truly warms her heart in this cold breezy night.

She tried shaking the girl again to wake her up, and knowing better, she knows that there's nothing that could wake her up if she's too into deep in her sleep.

So she carries her, piggy back style, all the way back to the tour bus.

It's a long walk but she doesn't mind.

She heard another sleepy groan from the brunette who buried her head on the crook of the raven haired girl's neck.

Lauren let out a soft chuckle and spared a quick glance at the younger Cuban she's carrying before continuing on her walk.

She stops dead on her tracks though when she hears the sleepy words that comes out of the brunette's mouth.

"It's gonna get better."


	10. Chapter 10

Lauren stopped walking  as soon as those words escaped the sleeping brunette's lips on her back.

She couldn't quite put into words why that single sentence affected her as much as it is affecting her now.

Lauren decided to continue walking as the cold air was starting to creep in their nerves.

_"It's gonna get better"_

She repeats those words in her head as if she's analyzing each and every syllable in it. 

The smaller girl on her back nuzzled into the back of her neck and squeezed herself against the strong shoulders that's carrying her. She's mumbling incoherent sentences under her breathe that made Lauren chuckle silently.

The older Cuban wasn't so surprised to receive a slight chuckle from the brunette in reply.

Camila has always been "responsive" whenever she's deep in her sleep. She doesn't realize it but she does that in her sleep.

Lauren wishes they could stay like that forever.

She doesn't care if her legs get too tired and give out, she just wants to be able to hold Camila in any way she can.

She wishes their walk would never end, she wishes Camila would nuzzle into her forever.

She wishes it was just the two of them forever.

_"It's gonna get better"_

She repeats in her head.

Lauren closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as memories flooded her mind.

Memories of her and the beautiful brunette that she loves with all her life.

She remembers the way they held each other whenever they needed, how they looked at each other whenever they think nobody's watching, how they held hands and strolled around the beach when it was late enough for it to be safe to do so, how they kissed each other behind the cameras and out of everybody's focus.

She remembers all the time they spent together.

She thinks she knows why now.

Why that line affected her as much as it did.

Camila and Lauren had been facing various kinds of adversities in their relationship but they kept holding on.

In a way, the sentence, "It's gonna get better" is like the rope that allows them to hold onto each other. It's the rope that's tying them in a knot, hoping it won't get cut.

They both subconsciously knew that this rope wasn't going to do enough for them to be able to hold on.

It was too thin, too fragile, and too easy to break.

But despite knowing this fact, they still continued to hold on and when someone finally came and cut that rope, they fell hard against concrete walls.

The impact was strong enough to cause major damages in them.

Tears started to threaten the walls of her green eyes.

Her pace slowed and her breathing starts to pick up its pace.

The tour bus is already visible from where Lauren is walking and she stops momentarily to give a quick side glance at the girl she's carrying.

"I guess we were wrong" she whispers before continuing to walk towards the bus.

\--

She opened the door of the bus as slowly as she could so that she won't wake her other band mate up.

Once she got in, trying to make little to no sound, she started her way to the bunks when she was stopped by a tall silhouette figure in front of her.

Having figured out who it is already, she sighed and inquired the tall blonde in front of her in the dark,

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"I could ask the same thing Laur, where were you and what's that on your back?" Dinah asked, taking a step closer to the shorter girl in front of her.

When Dinah got close enough to better see the figure Lauren is carrying, she almost screamed at the top of her lungs before the older girl slammed her hand against her mouth to shut her up.

"Ssssh" Lauren motioned for Dinah to be silent.

"Did you murder Chancho or something?" Dinah asked in a hushed tone

"What? No, Dinah. She fell asleep in the beach and won't wake up so I carried her here." Lauren said with a slightly disturbed face as her legs and body started to shake a little bit.

"My body's starting to go numb, I need to put her down now" Lauren said while struggling to keep her balance.

Dinah quickly helped Lauren carry Camila but with a bit of a problem.

"She's stuck" Dinah said causing Lauren to look up at her with a questioning look.

"What?" Lauren asked.

"Well, it's more like you're stuck. She won't let go, and we both know that once Chancho here starts to cuddle something or someone in her sleep, it's very unlikely that she's gonna let go" Dinah said calmly as if it's a normal everyday occurrence.

"I can't just keep standing here with her on my back. I'd literally break. I also can't sit because she'll be squished to death." Lauren complained while trying to get the smaller brunette on her back off of her to which the brunette just nuzzled against her even more.

"I guess you don't have any other choice. You have to sleep with her" Dinah said with a huge grin.

"I don't think that's a very good idea" Lauren replied, her tone wary.

"You could always just stand there until she wakes up, which, let's be real, would take probably 5 or 6 more hours? It's your choice though." Dinah said with a yawn and started to walk towards her own bunk.

"Wait, where are u going? You can't leave me here like this." Lauren said, struggling to go after the tall blonde.

"I'm going to sleep so please don't be too loud" Dinah said with a wink before getting in her own bunk and closed the curtain to block out Lauren.

Lauren is left momentarily stunned in her place.

She seriously considered just standing there all night or day until the brunette wakes up.

She tried waking up the brunette but to no avail.

Finally, the raven haired Cuban sighed in defeat and went to her own bunk with Camila cuddling her from behind.

"I guess we'll be sleeping together tonight." Lauren whispered and got on the bed slowly but surely, carefully placing the smaller girl to her bed with the girl's hands intertwined on her neck.

Once they're in a comfortable position, Lauren watched the beautiful girl in front of her. She watches her slow and steady breathing.

She smiles a sad smile as she brings her hand to put a strand of hair behind Camila's ear for her to have a better look at the brunette's face.

"Just for tonight" she whispers.

She rested her hand on Camila's cheek and gently stroked it.

"Just once" Lauren whispered as she closes her eyes  and slowly lean in

"I promise" she whispers against the skin of the brunette's forehead.

She feels the brunette's breathe start to hitch but she ignores it and continues,

She places a long and tender kiss against the brunette's cheek and whispered again, "I promise"

She placed a tender peck at the brunette's nose,

"I promise"

She goes back up to the brunette's closed eyes and kisses it tenderly. She can taste salty tears from the kiss and she's not sure if it's her tears or the brunette's.

"Just one more. Only one." She whispers, her forehead against the brunette's forehead.

She slowly leans down, her lips and the shorter Latina's lips merely inches apart

"I promise" she whispers.

She leans in even closer but their lips don't touch.

Lauren stops. She doesn't open her eyes, and she doesn't touch her lips with the younger Latina's own yet she knows and she feels the tremble in the brunette's lips.

So she kisses her cheek instead and says,

"Goodnight Camz."

Lauren doesn't say anything or do anything else. Camila expects her to, she expects Lauren to do something, to say something. 

She needs her to say those four words to her, she needs Lauren's reassurance just like they always give each other in times of doubt and hopelessness.

She needs and wants Lauren's lips against hers and tell her the words that she wants to hear.

But it doesn't come.

Lauren doesn't say it.

Lauren doesn't kiss her.

She understands why but it still sucks. She understands that Lauren doesn't say it for her sake, because she loves her.

She knows it's bad, she's bad for her. She has shed too many tears for the raven haired girl in front of her and she knows well enough to stop coming back but she can't help it. She will always want what's bad for her.

So when she feels Lauren cuddle her up and her breathe steadying, she opens her eyes and nuzzles in as close as she could to the older Cuban.

"Just for tonight" she whispers against the green eyed girl's neck.

She looks up at Lauren sleeping figure and whispers, "Just once" as she leans up to place a quick peck on the girl with the emerald orbs' lips.

Once she pulled back, she moves away from Lauren and faces the opposite side so she doesn't have to face the rave haired beauty as she cries herself back to sleep.

"Goodnight Lo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: lol. 


	11. Chapter 11

Lauren woke up to an empty bed. Which isn't a huge surprise to the green eyed girl, she just couldn't help the sadness that comes with the knowledge that she has lost the girl forever.

She wonders if there is an alternate universe and if she's with Camila in that world.

She wonders if in every universe they'll end up the same way. Apart and miserable.

She turned to lie on her back and put an arm over her eyes to block out the bright light that's illuminating the tour bus.

She contemplated on sleeping the whole day. The tour is over, they can finally have the time to relax and enjoy a day without stress and what better way to do that than to spend it with more sleeps and perhaps a netflix and ice cream in bed. 

She moved to turn to her side and covered her face with a pillow to block out all the lights and noise outside her bunk. The rave haired girl groaned when a familiar voice woke her up before she even had the chance to go back to sleep.

"Lo Lo!!!" She hears a high pitched voice call her in her nickname and she can feel them opening the curtain from her bunk.

Lauren only groaned in response but didn't move to look at the owner of the voice.

"Aw now Lo, don't be grumpy, it's a nice sunny day out, let's go explore the city of love!" the girl replied, shaking Lauren to wake her.

"You go explore with the others Ally, I'm tired and I don't feel like going out." She replied while burying her head in her pillow even more.

Ally groaned and nudged Lauren to the side to make space for her to lie down which caused the younger Latina to turn to look at her.

"What the hell Ally, go away!" Lauren yelled in protest to Ally's persistent pushing to give her space.

"No way Jose. I'm staying here until you get your lazy ass up and come with me." stubborn, Ally crossed her arms and made no attempt to retreat despite the daggers the younger girl is sending her way.

The raven haired girl sighed and turned around to face the opposite side and said, "Fine then I guess you'll be lying here with me all day." 

"It takes as long as it takes." Ally replied and nuzzled closer to Lauren.

Lauren knows Ally. She knows that the shorter Latina is only doing this to cheer her up and she knows that she's not one to give up. 

She appreciates Ally's effort, she really does. But this is one problem that not even Ally's bubbly smile, that could light up even the dimmest room in the world, can solve. 

She can feel Ally stirring beside her on the bed and she knows that the older woman is uncomfortable in her position, especially given that she's wearing a mini skirt and sandals in bed.

"How can you sleep in this place? It's so messy and hot." Ally mumbled mostly to herself as she struggles to get herself out of the sandals she's wearing.

"Jesus, can you please quiet down? I'm trying to have a peaceful sleep here." Lauren angrily whispered at Ally who's still struggling to get out of her sandals.

When the shorter blonde finally got herself out of her sandals, she lied back down next to the grumpy raven haired beauty and sighed, "So you're really not gonna get up?" she asked.

The girl with the emerald orbs only shook her head in response and nuzzled even deeper in her blankets.

Ally sighed exasperatedly and said, "You know I was really looking forward to hanging out with you today. I never have the chance to get hang out with you anymore and it feels like I'm missing out on a lot of stuff." 

"Why don't you go hang out with Normani or something then? I'm not in the mood today Ally." Lauren replied with finality in her voice which caused the older woman in the bunk to frown.

The petite woman didn't answer and instead, stayed solitary in her place.

Ten minutes has passed and Ally still hasn't moved or spoke which caused a discomfort in Lauren so she sighed in defeat and turned around.

She sees the smaller blonde looking at the ceiling of the bunk.

Ally notices Lauren and faces to her with a huge smile.

"I'm not sleepy anymore" Lauren said simply before rolling over the smaller girl and getting out of the bunk.

Ally got up as well and followed Lauren like a lost puppy.

Lauren put out a bowl and poured herself a cereal.

"Want me to grab you some milk?" Ally asked

"No thanks." Lauren replied

"But you-" Ally was cut off by Lauren's loud crunching and her next question, "So you really won't stop bugging me until I go with you?" she started while munching on her dry breakfast.

This earned a huge smile on the petite woman as she nod eagerly and excitedly, having already figured that the taller girl will comply to her wish.

Lauren sighed, defeated and said, "Fine. Wait outside, I'll get ready." 

"Why outside? I can wait here while you get ready in the bathroom." Ally said with a confused look.

"Just making sure you won't take a peak and harass me." the girl with the emerald orbs joked causing the petite woman to blush and slightly open her mouth in protest.

Lauren pushed Ally to the entrance and pushed her out and said, "Be a good girl and stay where you are, I will only take a minute." 

Ally huffed in her place and crossed her arms on her chest.

The taller girl hurriedly went back inside and to the bathroom to shower.

She went in the room and took off all of her clothes when she heard a slight rustle coming from the shower area. 

Lauren stopped in her tracks and momentarily froze in her place, she heard it again.

_It couldn't be Ally, she's outside._

_Dinah's out with her sister and Normani_

_Camila... Well, I don't know where she is but she left._

_The security and/or crew would never even consider going in to our bathroom._  

_Which leads to only one conclusion, a creep or a stalker is in there._

Lauren grabbed a hairdryer on the counter and took small, wary steps towards the shower.

She can clearly hear the rustling and groaning from in there and she put her guards up as she slowly but surely opened the curtains from the shower and saw a brunette lying in the shower floor, and helplessly shivering.

Lauren immediately recognized the girl and quickly bent down to pick her up. 

"Jesus Christ Camila!" she shouted and the girl quickly shot up, causing her head to bump into the older girl's forehead.

Lauren groaned in pain and rubbed her forehead with her hand.

Camila, in a state of panic, looked around to examine if there was anything wrong in the room. Thankfully there wasn't and she sighed in relief as she relaxed her body against the strong hold of the taller woman holding her.

"Thank goodness there's no fire." Camila said which earned her a confused look from Lauren,

"What the hell were you doing there?!" Lauren yelled in question

Camila, not having noticed Lauren, quickly got away from the raven haired girl's hold in shock and panic. 

"Wha-What are you doing here?! And why are you naked?!" Camila inquired whilst covering her eyes.

"It's the bathroom, it's the place where people get naked to get wet and clean. Not a place to sleep." Lauren replied as she got up to find something to cover herself with. "You act like this is the first time you've seen me naked" Lauren mumbled inaudibly to Camila.

"What was that?" Camila inquired to which Lauren just shakes her head and says, "Why were you sleeping here? Was sleeping next to me such a horrible thought to you that you'd rather sleep in the bathroom?" Lauren asked, hurt evident in her tone.

"No, that's not it!" Camila quickly replied which surprised both of them, "I- uhhh, went to the bathroom last night and then realized I was thirsty but I didn't really want to make a long trip to the kitchen so I decided I would just drink from the shower but then after I drank, I slipped and didn't really feel like getting up so..." Camila continued as her eyes stay covered.

Lauren groaned and put both of her hands on her waist and said, "I'm covered, you can look now." 

Camila hesitantly put her hands away from her eyes and looked at the towel covered raven haired girl in front of her. She can't help the urge to kiss the taller woman. It takes all of her self control and dignity not to jump on Lauren and just attack her with her kisses because if she let's it go even for just a second, she might lose all self control and break both of their bones this instant. But the fact remains that she doesn't have the freedom to do that anymore. So she holds it.

They stayed in silence, just staring at each other, no words were exchanged.

"I, uhhh, I guess I'll leave you to do what you have to do here then" Camila started as she looks down on the ground and started walking forward when she stepped on a stray soap and fell.

She anticipated the impact of her body to the hard and concrete ground but what she did not expect was to land on something soft yet strong.

Next thing Camila knows was that she's on top of a fully naked Lauren whose towel somehow slipped off of her body, and there's now a loud and impatient pounding on the door.

"Lauren! What's taking so long?" She recognized that voice, _Ally!_ she thought.

"Wait, you didn't just trick me so that you can escape right? Lauren??" Ally continued pounding on the door, waiting for Lauren's reply.

Lauren stayed frozen under Camila who didn't make any move to get off of her. She lost all her self control and now she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't even hear Ally's persistent calls, she just looks at Camila's face that's merely inches apart from her. 

It takes all her will power not to kiss the the brunette but it looks like that will power is slowly crumbling as well as the younger brunette is looking down at her lips whilst biting her lip. She does the same and almost leans up to kiss her when suddenly,

"Oh it's not locked, I'm coming in!"

Everything stopped. Time, air flow, sound, vibrations, everything. Everything stopped moving, everything stopped working. 

Ally's jaw is wide open as she fully sinks in the situation that's right in front of her. 

Camila, on top of a naked Lauren, their bodies are completely against each other, Lauren's arms are around Camila's bottom and Camila's barely on top of Lauren's bulky chest. Their faces merely inches apart but they're looking up at her with wide eyes and an expression that looks like they are deer caught in the headlights. 

Camila and Lauren are in a state of shock, they don't know what to do, they don't know what to say. Lauren doesn't know how to explain the compromising position she and her "ex" girlfriend is in to one of her best friends who just walked in on them.

"O-oh my God." Ally was the one who first broke the silence, her jaw is still agape as she slowly steps back. "I think I'll just.. go.. and let you finish.. whatever you guys were doing" Ally said and attempted to make a move to rush away but before she can, she was stopped by Camila's persistent call.

"Wait! This isn't what it looks like, I swear!" Camila said, getting off of the stunned naked Lauren who is slowly getting her senses back together.

Ally looked at Camila curiously before the younger brunette continued, "I was about to leave but then I slipped and landed on Lauren." she vaguely and briefly explained.

"Still doesn't explain the naked Lauren." Ally countered and narrowed her eyes.

"I was about to take a shower and then I found Camila lying on the shower floor, sleeping." Lauren got up and explained nonchalantly, not bothering to cover up.

"Ugh Lo, get dressed!" Ally exclaimed as she covers her eyes at the sight.

Lauren rolled her eyes before pushing both girls out of the bathroom and then closed the door without another word.

"So, what's going on between you two?" Ally asked Camila

"What do you mean?"

"Are you guys in a secret relationship?" Ally inquired with a big infectious smile on her face.

Camila shook her head and said, "No Ally, we've already done so much hiding I don't think we can endure much more." Camila responded with sadness in her tone.

Ally frowned and sighed, "Are you sure it's better for you not to be with her than to be hide with her?" 

Camila is silent for a moment, she takes her time to weigh in the question. Would she be better off trying to forget her love for the emerald eyed girl? Would another secret relationship not be worth it? 

She still loves Lauren, so deeply, strongly and genuinely but she knows she can't be with her. Why is that again? She asks herself. Why can't she be with Lauren? 

Because it's going to end like it always does. Them getting hurt. 

But if they only have fought for their love, if only Lauren fought for them would they still hurt in the end? 

Maybe they're not right for each other but wouldn't it be worth the risk? If she had only continued to pursue Lauren despite her decision, would they ever have the chance to end happily?

Those are the questions Camila scarcely has the answer for. 

"You wanna come with us?" Ally asked suddenly.

"Where?" Camila questioned,

"To explore Paris!" Ally cheerfully replied to which earned a smile from the brunette.

She really is glad that Ally exists in her world.

\--

 _How did it come to this?_ Lauren asked herself as she awkwardly walk side by side with her ex and Ally in between them.

As if the incident earlier wasn't painful enough for Lauren, she's again reminded with the presence of Camila.

She still got the urge to kiss the brunette but she can't because they're in public and because that would be breaking her promise, although she's not one for keeping promises.

"So, I didn't know Mila was the top in the relationship, I always thought it'd be you Lo." Lauren almost choked on her own spit while Ally and Camila only laugh in a ridiculously high voice.

"What the fuck Ally?!" Lauren exclaimed at the girl beside her who only let out a chuckle. She notices the brunette's amused face and her intimidating look, as if to challenge her to respond to Ally's observation.

"For your information, I am always the top in all of my relationships." Lauren said a matter of factly.

"Not what I saw today" Ally retorted which caused another outburst of laughter from the brunette.

Annoyed, Lauren began to get defensive, "I am! Camz, you tell her"

Camila only shrugged and said, "meh"

Lauren groaned and stomped faster than the girls so that they'll have to run to catch up to her.

"Wait Lo, we were only joking. No need to get too defensive Am I right Mila?" Ally said which earned her a nod from the brunette

"Miss top right here needs to stop being so grumpy and defensive or else we might think we've got a point in our arguments." Camila said and high fived Ally which earned them both a scowl and an even more grumpy face.

The day went on quickly for the three girls, the City of Paris proved to be one of the best to connect people even through the hardest of times.

At this time Lauren, Camila and Ally are pretty much enjoying the life of being ordinary girls, enjoying ordinary things such as pizza, ice creams, games, mimes, balloons, carnivals, and a lot more.

Even Camila and Lauren are getting along just fine, the awkwardness and tension seem to dissipate quickly although it's still there.

They don't get to do this everyday and they're all glad they had the chance to do it now.

"I must say, I'm glad I agreed to hang out with you today Ally." Lauren began while licking her ice cream

"Same." Camila added and all three girls hum in delight as they all relax and momentarily forget about the stress and worries.

The three of them are seated at a bench in Louvre as they take in and admire the beautiful constellations in the sky.

Their momentary peace was broken by Ally's phone ringing. 

"Sorry, I just have to take this." Ally began as she left the two girls alone in the bench.

They were silent for a couple of minutes, just admiring the peaceful night, until Camila breaks the silence.

"It's a beautiful night." Camila began, looking up at the sky, admiring the shining stars and constellations.

Lauren looked at the girl beside her. The girl who tirelessly makes her heart skip a beat each time she flashes her that smile, the girl who makes her happy with just a single look, the girl she loves the most.

"yeah it's beautiful." Lauren replied still not looking away from the brunette.

Camila stopped admiring the sky and started looking at the pair of green eyes right in front of her.

"It really is." She said and looked down at Lauren's lips. 

Lauren sees the movement of Camila's eyes and does the same, she looks down at Camila's lips and slowly inches closer to the brunette.

She knows she should stop. They're in public and although it's night and they have disguises, people will still find a way to catch them. 

But it's really difficult to stop her at this point, so she inches even closer as the brunette does the same. 

They both know it's wrong but right now they couldn't even care less. They're blocking out the whole world, for now it's just Lauren and Camila. 

Their faces are merely centimeters apart and they both simultaneously say, "just once. I promise." which made them both smile.

And when their lips finally touched, fireworks began to explode, there are blinding lights everywhere in the sky, they can hear people cheering but not at them and they have never felt so free in the world until now. 

Camila smiles against Lauren's lips and says, "That was the kind of promise I always want you to break"

Lauren smiles momentarily as well and continued to kiss the smaller girl deeper and more passionately.

They continued like that until they decided that they can't continue any longer because of various of reasons. 

Lauren and Camila only stared at each other and smiled, a happy one. 

They're little happy time is ruined though because Ally comes back with a not so pleasant of a news.

"Hey, sorry if I interrupted something," Ally paused and by that both of them already knew that Ally has been spying on them.

Ally smiled and continued, "but Roger here, he's been looking for you Mila, and it sounds like he's not so pleased." Ally informed with a scowl on her face at the mention of Camila's manager.

Lauren immediately frowned at the mention of the guy. She quickly got up and said, "We should go." and by that the tallest girl amongst the three of them got to her feet and started marching to their parked car.

 _This is going to be a problem_ Camila thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi guys! I apologize for the very long delay. I've had a rough month with all the midterms and papers due I barely had the time to write. I've also been suffering from a writer's block these past few weeks so whenever I tried writing it just doesn't come out right and I don't want to give you guys a lackluster chapter.
> 
> Sorry this chapter was very fillery(and cringe-worthily cliche), it's building up to something... Something that might be good for you all or it might be bad.. who knows...
> 
> Anyway, I just want to inform you all that this fic will be in a momentary hiatus until I find my footing in the real world(lol I'm so lost.. maybe 2-3 weeks(??)) I apologize in advance and I hope you all understand and will stick around :) Thank you for always giving this fic love, I appreciate it! :D (also, in case y'all didn't know, I'm Alren asf)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I would like to sincerely apologize for not updating in so long.
> 
> Second of all, I'm here for all of you. These past couple of months has been tough not only for me, but surely for all of you as well so I want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm here for you and all your fellow harmonizers are here for you.
> 
> A lot of things happened during my hiatus days and I can't promise that I will update frequently once I upload this. Then there was that Trump being elected, Camila leaving, and everything around me has just been so overwhelming and too much of a shit. I originally planned the hiatus to be a week or two long but life just sucks for me. I know I'm rambling and complaining a lot, I'm sorry. I hope you guys can understand.
> 
> And lastly, I want to say thank you for all your continued support of this fic. It's very much appreciated ❤

"Camila, don't let your feelings cloud your judgment and hinder you from achieving your goal." Roger said as he paced back and forth in the tight spaced room.

Camila frowned. She's in too much of a good mood to be listening to one of Roger's stupid opinion.

She sighed and slumped in her seat. Phone in hand, she moved her slender fingers to type in a message to Lauren.

**_Hey_ ** _  
**-Camz**_

Not even 10 seconds later, she already received a reply from the green eyed girl.

**_Hey what's up? Everything alright?  
-Lolo_ **

Camila smiled at Lauren's text and quickly made a reply.

**_Yeah, I just wanted to check if you're okay and if you're still mad at me. You're not still mad are you?_ **

**_-Camz_ **

This time the reply took a minute or two longer.

**_Of course I'm not mad. Why would I be mad at you?_ **

**_-Lolo_ **

**_Well, you had this scary scowl and grumpy face when we were driving back and when we got here you immediately ran away with a VERY loud huff like your life depended on it. So I thought you were mad at me again._ **

**_-Camz_ **

**_Camz.. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at Roger. He couldn't have found a better timing to interrupt us. AGAIN._ **

**_-Lolo_ **

**_I know, I'm really sorry about that. I'm as annoyed at him as you are. I hate seeing his stupid face every minute he demands._ **

**_-Camz_ **

**_Then why don't you fire him?_ **

**_-Lolo_ **

A pause.

**_I can't._ **

**_-Camz_ **

**_Why?_ **

**_-Lolo_ **

**_"Because-"_** Was all Camila could type before she got rudely interrupted by an unpleasant whine-like voice approaching her.

"You're not even listening to me Mila!" Roger exclaimed at the brunette before averting his gaze to the smaller girl's phone. "Who are you texting?" he questions but has quite the inkling idea as to who it is.

Still, he lets the younger brunette fidget at her seat nervously, frantically looking for excuses and trying to sit upright.

"No one" she quickly replied while swiftly sliding her phone to her back pocket. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

The glass pecked man in front of her raised an eyebrow at the sight. He moved to sit beside the clearly uncomfortable brunette and not so gently placed a hand on top of her shoulder.

"I know how hard it is to move on from someone you used to love" He begins and Camila can literally feel her whole body ache at the sudden urge to roll her eyes.

"Trust me, I really do" he continues, acting sympathetic but not good enough to hide his open book façade.

Camila scoots away slightly and fidgets as if to suggest she's uncomfortable around his presence. This goes seemingly unnoticed by the oblivious man beside her.

"But it's time to move on. Stop texting her, she doesn't love you. And if she did, she wouldn't have easily made that decision without your will to it." Roger says as if reciting a speech that's rehearsed for the millionth time.

This time, Camila didn't stop herself from letting out a groan and roll of her eyes.

Roger still continued, "You have to remember that the goal here is to get you a successful career. To be able to share YOUR music" He stood up to face the door. Camila thinks he'll leave, but he stops midway to a mini counter and sat across from her. At least the distance is bearable now, she thinks. "Once you get yourself publicly involved with her, it will interfere with, not only our agenda but Fifth Harmony's as well."

Camila has heard this speech at least over a hundred times already. She knows how this industry works. She knows what she has to do to stay.

"Remember what you and Fifth Harmony’s brand are for and who it is directed towards. Your target audiences are straight male and females. You can’t afford to attract more audiences that are not of your target. If you were to disobey the terms and conditions of any of your contracts, the industry will topple over all of your careers."

Camila always feels anxious and overwhelmed hearing this fact. She doesn't know what to do and what to say. The truth is, Roger was appointed as her manager by the label. They have always been planning on giving her a solo career. Right from the get-go, they knew she had the potential and they've been building up on it.

Fifth Harmony was born not to last long but to be a building block for their solo careers. It just so happened that Camila is being recognized more by target audiences. Thus, making her the most prioritized in the band.

This is by the conjoined doings of their label and management to form a neatly organized setting for more profits. They have various artists for various kinds of audiences and it would be chaos if the artists does not abide to the roles they were given.

Roger only exists in her life to manage her and make sure that her path to a solo success will be according to plan and well executed.

She’s known this fact just recently, she hasn’t told anybody about it except her family.

"If you were to continue having romantic relations with Lauren, sure, you'll be a onetime hit. Fifth Harmony will get recognition, attention, and will be granted more fame. That sounds great but that doesn't fit with your brand criteria does it?" He continues

It doesn’t. It will only cause a disorganization to the plans of the management and labels. Everything is planned ahead of schedule by them, nothing will be worth the disorganization.

When she goes solo though, she knows she’ll be given the chance to pursue a (public) romance with Lauren (something Roger boy here does not know). The separation will provide them more viability to get the recognition in terms of hyping up her solo career. Then it wouldn’t interfere with the agenda. Instead, it will create a whole other branch that will put Fifth Harmony and Camila Cabello in for possibly the same amount of recognition.

Of course it comes with a price which is why this is only a hypothetical chance.

And besides, it’s already decided that she’ll have to go solo sometime around this year. She has no say as to when, she can only hope that she’ll have enough freedom to get her message out to all the harmonizers who will be thoroughly disappointed.

The girls found out about this plan though, even when Camila hasn’t explicitly told them about it-as per management’s request. She’s been told not to tell anybody “yet” and she thinks she might never get the chance to say at all.

The girls, of course, felt disappointed and betrayed. It went as bad as the four of them not talking to her but it never lasted more than a week till they started talking again.

Dinah was the one who took it rather better than the other three. Dinah is her best friend and her sister from another mother, she’ll never last a day staying mad at her “Chancho” like that.  She prodded the brunette’s back with a loud huff and said, “I forgive you” and hugged her immediately.

Ally was the next. She’s far too sweet and caring to even remotely dislike somebody, anybody(except Donald Trump ofc). She baked Camila round shaped cookies with smiley faces in them and soothingly rubbed her palm on Camila’s shoulders. She said, “We’ll always be your sisters.”, and then kissed Camila’s forehead just before she disappeared to go yell at Lauren and Dinah who broke a vase.

By far, the toughest one –with the exception of Lauren, who at that time still had bad blood with Camila after their break up- was Normani. She had gone a week or so not talking to the brunette despite her continuous effort to get her to talk. By the time she managed to utter a sentence to Camila, both girls softened and embraced each other, Normani said, “No matter what happens, you and those other dorks are still my ride or die. And we will always love and support you Mila.”

The last one had been Lauren. Although, Lauren didn’t really stop talking to her, and by talk she means that one liner or one word talk but nonetheless, she took the news quite well. Too well actually, thought Mila. She knows Lauren didn’t like the news about her working to go solo, but what she doesn’t know, or rather, not sure of, is if the girl would ever forgive and still accept her for it.

All of this is giving Camila a headache. She doesn’t know what to think and how to cope, she’s overwhelmed.

"I know that" she whispers to herself, her body hunched forward with her elbows resting on both of her thighs and her hands supporting her face.

"Remember this Mila, your brand, their brand. They're planned for a reason. If you go against that, everything will go wrong. And if that happens, your careers will be sabotaged." He says with finality.

She thinks she’s being selfish for even agreeing to this decisive, devious, ill hearted plan and maybe that’s really the case here. But can anyone really blame her for grabbing the only chance of being able to express her own music and feelings? Being able to share it with people and having control over what she wants to sing and write and dance to?

Camila feels like crying. She's overwhelmed and sick to her stomach. Her breathing starts to get heavier and her body starts to stiffen and shake. She's having a panic attack.

Roger seems to notice because by now he's standing with a mortified look on his face directed to her. "I think I've said everything I needed to say. I'll leave now." And by that, he's quickly out of the room leaving the poor petite girl on her own, shaking and helpless.

Her phone has been vibrating in her pocket since she put it there. She thinks it's Lauren, she KNOWS it's Lauren.

She made a move to stand but only landed face first on the ground as her body, her legs and hands are shaking uncontrollably. She lets her tears flow down her cheeks like a mud in a mudslide.

She moves her sweaty hands to grab her phone from her pocket but it slides through and across the room, not too far away from her, though.

She tries to even out her breathing as she hears her phone vibrate uncontrollably. She knows the other girl is calling her.

She does the inhale exhale exercise to help her relax a bit and then used all her upper body strength to get up and grab her phone. She slowly dragged her shaking feet to the door as it suddenly jerked open.

Just as she was about to fall face first to the floor again, she was caught midway through by strong and comforting arms. She knew immediately who it belongs to and her body immediately relaxes a little bit at the touch of comfort.

"Hey, you're drenched in sweat, are you okay? What happened to you?" Lauren says, concern evident in her tone.

When the taller raven haired girl didn’t receive a verbal response, instead, she felt the girl shake and tighten her grip on her arms; she immediately holds the smaller girl’s hand and places it around her neck.

She leads the shaking girl to an armchair and rests her there as she quickly scrambled to her feet in search of something to drink. Once she’s found an unopened water bottle discarded on the floor, she opens it and lets the younger brunette drink.

Once Camila has evened out her breathing and evidently is calmer now, she links their fingers together and her hands.

Lauren feels the icy temperature of the other girl’s hand slowly return to normal as she continues to squeeze it. She doesn’t say anything for a few more minutes, she lets the girl relax and rest for awhile.

Once Camila has completely regained her composure she opened her eyes and squeezed Lauren’s hand. When the raven haired beauty looked up to meet her eyes, she’s suddenly hit by an enormous amount of affection for the girl kneeling in front of her.

She can’t help it, she moves forward to place a chaste kiss on the other girl’s lips. Lauren was caught by surprise but relaxes soon after.

Their lips stay connected for a few seconds, just finding solace in the slow motion of their kiss. Their lips dancing against each other, no search for dominance, no tongue, no tousled hair on each other’s eyes, just a pure, slow and romantic swaying of their lips.

Lauren breaks apart first, her eyes, still closed as if she’s still feeling the smaller brunette’s soft lips against her own.

She slowly brings her eyes to open to see the other girl’s evidently more relaxed face. The girl with the mesmerizing green eyes smiles and asks, “What was that for?”

Camila shakes her head with a serene smile and said, “Nothing. I just felt like it.”

That earned a giggle from the green eyed woman before her which sent a shiver down her spine and her heart beating faster than remotely possible.

The raven haired beauty stopped their little moment and turned into a serious tone, “Camz, can I ask what happened earlier?” she asked, with hesitation and worry visible in her tone.

Camila shook her head and sighed, “I just had a lot in mind that’s all.” She said in a tired tone.

Lauren doesn’t buy it but she doesn’t push the girl as she clearly isn’t ready to talk about it and she’s also clearly tired.

“Okay. Want me to get you to bed?” The taller girl asked now standing upright in front of the shorter brunette.

“Are you going to carry me?” Camila asked jokingly

“Yep.”  Lauren replied, and quickly, she scoops the shorter girl off her feet and carries her bridal style.

“Wait. Lauren, wait!” The brunette exclaimed, surprised at the sudden position she’s in now. Not that she doesn’t like it, she’s just worried that Lauren would break her arms from this.

“What? I got this Camz, don’t worry. Don’t you remember? I carried you just yesterday to here all the way from the beach? Trust me. I’ve got it.” Lauren said with finality and started strutting towards Camila’s bunker.

“Seriously Laur, it’s fine. I can walk.”

“Hush babe, it’s gonna be fine. I got you.” Lauren whispered against Camila’s ear, releasing a small puff of breath that sends the younger girl into an array of emotions and weird arousal(as Camila puts it).

When Lauren only received a shudder response from the girl, she smiled widely to herself and held in her own laughter.

Camila sees the wide smile of the green eyed girl’s face and very softly punched the other girl’s shoulder. “Stop teasing me!”

And by that, Lauren couldn’t hold back the threatening storm of enormous laughter that came out of her mouth. She laughed so hard that her arms began to weaken and she almost dropped the brunette to the floor.

“Oh, Dios mio! Lauren!” she exclaimed which received another loud laugh from the green eyed girl.

As they reach the girl’s bunker, Lauren bent down a little and said, “We have arrived milady.” She said in British accent.

“Great, now put me down” Camila said in the most demanding tone she could muster.

The raven haired girl giggled and did as she was told, she put the younger brunette down as gently as she could and just stood in front of the girl, unsure of what to do next.

“Ummm..” Lauren began, words suddenly felt foreign to her tongue, she doesn’t know what to say.

“Are you tired?” Camila asked which earned her a confused look from the older girl.

“I’m not really..” Lauren tried to respond but was cut off by the now scooting over Camila who made space for what’s presumably for Lauren.

“After all that carrying, I think you are. Come, you can lie down with me” The brunette said with a hint of blush. Both of them somehow knows that she’s just looking for an excuse to make up for the missed opportunity of sleeping together.

Lauren smiled and moved to lie next to the brunette, “Sure I was. Damn you were a heavy sac.” She said jokingly which earned her a not-so-soft punch from the younger girl.

Lauren rolled to her side to face Camila and wrapped her arms around the girl, holding her close as if tomorrow wouldn’t come for them. “Goodnight” she whispers to her ear and the sound of her voice is a lullaby enough to lull her to sleep.

Camila wrapped her arms around the other girl’s waist.

She whispers, “Lauren?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think we’ll be able to do this twenty years from now?”

A pause.

A nod.

“I’m sure of it.”

Camila smiles at that and rests her head at the raven haired girl’s chin and dreams of a green eyed girl smiling, kissing, and holding her close. She dreams of her twenty years from now, under the roof they’ll be sharing, happy and in love.

“It’s already better” she whispers in her sleep.

How she wished it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overall, I don't know what goes on behind the scenes and the label/management's real agenda so I hope people don't start to believe in that. Thank you so much for the support and I really hope I can upload soon. I will not abandon this fic, if there's one thing I'll finish, it's this.(Also, there will be a lot of grammatical errors in it cuz I'm a little rusty now, so I apologize for that!)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay so I'm in a pretty slow start, I apologize for all the mistakes. I'm not exactly very familiar with the 5H or the fandom and I'm fairly new to writing. I have never written any camren fanfics before this so please go easy on me.


End file.
